Too little, too late

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEEEP BEEEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

It is the familiar sound of a text message.

At the thankfully unfamiliar time of 7:15am.

“Please can you bleep out all my swearing?  Please?” asks Fat Jim in the message itself.

It is the morning after the night before, and after spending thirty minutes dropping the C-bomb like a seven year-old who has just learnt his shocking first swear word, Fat Jim is remorseful.

“No.” is my swift response.

It is important that people know what he is like.  It is all well and good people thinking he is funny, but then they don’t have to welcome him into their home after two bottles of red wine.

“Please take out the swearing.  Please please please.  I have a hangover.” he continues in his reply.

Making him beg whilst suffering a hangover creates an entertaining mental picture, but in reality it is too late.  The podcast had gone on-line during the night and many iTunes users had already downloaded it.  I would not be making any edits.

“People are going to think I am a complete tit.” he concludes.

It is possibly the most insightful comment he has made in all the years I have known him.

9 comments

  1. Misty · March 26, 2009

    We love you FJ, you & the missus can come and down 2 bottles of red round mine anytime.

  2. LT · March 26, 2009

    Not one of your better efforts if I am honest.

  3. Jaggy · March 26, 2009

    What he says^

  4. la cubana gringa · March 26, 2009

    Shit. Excessive drinking and swearing makes your tits bigger? I clearly need to make some lifestyle changes…goddammit.

  5. Oli · March 26, 2009

    I may have to check this podcast out, you sly marketing devil!

  6. Megan · March 26, 2009

    I’m with Oli. I think it’s a ruse to lure the non-listeners into violating the no-audible-Angry-at-work rule. I’m stronger than that though.

  7. Miss Angry · March 26, 2009

    Thanks for keeping them in – v funny!

  8. Mr Angry · March 26, 2009

    Oli & Megan, you could not be more wrong. If you’re only going to listen to one of them, please don’t make it that last one.

  9. Preacher · March 26, 2009

    Fat Jim is a hero of mine. Which is a worry for my wife.