Sober night out

We took our seats in the pub and I looked at my watch.  It was 10:13pm.

This Friday night was something of an experiment.  Myself, Fat Jim, Mrs Fat Jim and Amy were having a night out as part of our Detoxification January.  This involved zero alcohol for the entire evening. Nada.

We had been out since 7:30pm, and it was slowly dawning on me how much funnier my friends are when I have been drinking.  It is lucky I am so funny at all times and at all levels of sobriety, otherwise the night would have been a complete write-off.

We sat in the busy pub with our soft drinks in front of us and chatted. The typical Friday night discussions on topics such as “Would you eat a fat person for a hundred grand?” or “If you knew you would definitely get away with it, what is the worst crime you would commit?” were summarily dispensed with.   Soon, we had covered all of our working weeks, our recent DIY experiences and we had taken the piss out of a friend who had joined us and was actually daring to drink real alcohol.   We then made detailed plans for our first night out at the end of January when our detox was over and when we could all drink again.  We argued, at length, about the perfect time to commute from Windsor into London in order to minimise traffic, length of journey, busy trains and tubes.  We also debated the pros and cons of of carbonated mineral water versus still as an alcoholic beverage substitute (we agreed the bubbles give the impression it could just be a large G&T).

Finally, we ran out of things to talk about and silence was again upon us.

I looked at my watch.  It was 10:19pm


  1. Keef · January 22, 2009

    A single man of twenty-fourteen and this is your idea of a Friday night out? Why didn’t you go down the laundrette and watch the tumbledriers spinning or perhaps find a nice set of traffic lights to watch while they change colour?
    Are you familiar with the old Fujitsu Training Centre at Beaumont House just outside Windsor? I was on a course there in 98 and went into Windsor in the evening, me and three Scottish lads. Now that was a night of SERIOUS drinking, Och Aye the Noo We’ll have three pints of heavy and a pint of dog piss for our Sassenach friend.
    Mind you paying attention in the lectures the next day was murder.

  2. Mr Angry · January 22, 2009

    Keef – Know it? I spent a LOT of time there in my early career in the mid-late 90’s.

    And I wanted to be a lot more rock’n’roll and was even up for a nightclub, but no-one else wanted to go to one while sober.

  3. Lin · January 22, 2009

    Early nights go with a detox unfortunately. While not drinking why not learn how to scuba dive or knit or go and have a mud wrap or something else equally useful?

  4. StokeySiren · January 22, 2009

    Why do people detox, not drink and stuff in January? With the freezing cold and / or driving rain, no light and everyone else moaning about not drinking – just glad my online shop is due any mo with my supplies.

  5. Misty · January 22, 2009

    SS – something to do with previous over-indulgance I believe (not me of course, I would never do that!).

    Angry – a fun night was had by all then?

  6. Scaryduck · January 22, 2009

    Does a large tin of sweetcorn and a vat of mixed nuts and raisons count as detox?

    Just askin’, like.

  7. StokeySiren · January 22, 2009

    I am seeing white porcelin pebble dashed. Sorry am bored so randomly revisiting etc anything but work

  8. Preacher · January 22, 2009

    very very sad.

  9. Obs · January 22, 2009

    There really isn’t anyone i’d want to hang out with past 7:30pm if alcohol isn’t involved. I’m impressed you made it past 10p.