We took our seats in the pub and I looked at my watch. It was 10:13pm.
This Friday night was something of an experiment. Myself, Fat Jim, Mrs Fat Jim and Amy were having a night out as part of our Detoxification January. This involved zero alcohol for the entire evening. Nada.
We had been out since 7:30pm, and it was slowly dawning on me how much funnier my friends are when I have been drinking. It is lucky I am so funny at all times and at all levels of sobriety, otherwise the night would have been a complete write-off.
We sat in the busy pub with our soft drinks in front of us and chatted. The typical Friday night discussions on topics such as “Would you eat a fat person for a hundred grand?” or “If you knew you would definitely get away with it, what is the worst crime you would commit?” were summarily dispensed with. Soon, we had covered all of our working weeks, our recent DIY experiences and we had taken the piss out of a friend who had joined us and was actually daring to drink real alcohol. We then made detailed plans for our first night out at the end of January when our detox was over and when we could all drink again. We argued, at length, about the perfect time to commute from Windsor into London in order to minimise traffic, length of journey, busy trains and tubes. We also debated the pros and cons of of carbonated mineral water versus still as an alcoholic beverage substitute (we agreed the bubbles give the impression it could just be a large G&T).
Finally, we ran out of things to talk about and silence was again upon us.
I looked at my watch. It was 10:19pm