And one for yourself…

I am stood at the bar in Paddington station with half an hour to kill till my next train.  I may not have mentioned it much, but I am not drinking during January, so I have the embarrassment of ordering a mineral water to look…

Pissing colours

One of the best things about being a bloke is having the ability to take a leak standing up. Yes, I know women now have the she-wee, but it is not the same, I have tried it. The ingenuity of man has taken this basic…

A bit of boring admin

Once a year I look at this website and think, “Jesus it’s looking tired, perhaps I can jazz it up a bit?” I then spend a few hours teaching myself basic CSS code, testing a few things, fucking it up royally, before finally admitting that…

What my town needs

I am a big fan of that there Facebook.  I am on it, this website is on it, the podcast is on it.  Even my own little group to stop all DEATH is on it. I am particularly impressed when I see people shunning the…

A strange call

My phone rings. It is a number I do not recognise, though this in itself is not that unusual as so many of my friends have recently changed jobs and mobile numbers. “Hello?” I answer, wondering which mate has made a New Year career change…

New Year Sales

“So you’re absolutely positive it hasn’t been opened, and that there’s nothing damaged or missing?” “Yes.” “Would you be willing to put that in writing?” This was an unusual end to a conversation held with a B&Q employee during the January sales.  But it was…

Coming out to play

“Do you want to come and play with my hot air balloon?” asked my friend Amy. I will admit, this is the most exciting start to a telephone conversation I have had in absolutely ages.  A hot air balloon?  Who wouldn’t! “Yes, yes I most…

The return of Fat Jim

“Hi.” said Fat Jim over the phone, somewhat drearily. “I need a favour.” “Nice to hear from you Fat Jim.  You need a favour eh?” “Yes.” “Does it involve effort or expense on my part?” “No, not really.” “Okay then, shoot.” “Do you have Stan’s…

The Leap Second

So another year has passed us by.  2008 has been a pretty good year, unless you are Heather Ledger or a major shareholder in Woolworths. Tonight sees us drift serenely, and somewhat inebriated, into 2009.  But this New Years Eve is slightly different.  It is…

Festive Salutations!

It is that time of year again where people give gifts and presents and hope against hope that the presents received this year are not total shite.  I am beyond that of course, as I recognise that at twenty-thirteen it is unlikely I am going…