Facebook applications

I hate to admit it, but I have been sucked into the Facebook craze that is sweeping the nation.

I am going to make a sweeping generalisation and assume that the people who read this have an inkling what Facebook is and what it does, at a basic level at least. Even the ones in Wales.

What I have noticed is that there is an application you can add to your page for absolutely anything and everything. There are applications to give you horoscopes, to buy your friends a virtual drink (really, what is the fucking point in that?), to become a ninja or a werewolf or a zombie. Even to draw virtual graffiti on someone’s wall. This one in particular I don’t get. Surely the link at the bottom saying “This graffiti is by Mr Angry” defeats the whole point of leaving gratuitously offensive messages? What is the point of writing, “Fat Jim bums sailors for pocket money” if everyone knows it was me?

What I really want to see are useful Facebook applications.

Shitometer – “Mr Angry has had THREE poos today. Do you want to let him know how many poos you have had? Click here!”

Bunch O’cunts– Found people on Facebook you really hate? Add them in here, it will send them random abusive messages, completely anonymously, and we get to see who the most unpopular people on Facebook are.

Violent Tendencies – “Mr Angry is going to smash FAT JIM’s head repeatedly into a wall until his brain seeps out of his ears like those really horrible custard bogies you get after a cold.”

Thoughts Aloud – “Mr Angry has thought about blow-jobs FORTY THREE times today. In his network only FAT JIM has thought of blow-jobs more often. Are you now thinking about blow-jobs? I bet you are. Click here and tell the world!”

Are there any Facebook applications you would like to see?

16 comments

  1. Oli · November 22, 2007

    try hatebook.com, a much more satisfying variation of facebook.

  2. Glammer · November 22, 2007

    Enthusiasm Eraser – With one click wipe out Facebook, Flickr, Bobo, MySpace and anything else web-based which people get bored with after a few months.

  3. Lin · November 22, 2007

    I really don’t believe you are ill if you have the energy to think about blow-jobs 43 times before breakfast! Nice one though.

  4. Jo · November 22, 2007

    instead of ‘accept’ and ‘ignore’

    I’d like a ‘Reject With Force’ button which not only blocks the person being your friend, but also sends them a ‘You have been rejected, mostly because you’re a dick’ pop up or something.

    Ignore just isn’t hardcore enough for some of my requests.

  5. The Inky Thinker · November 22, 2007

    not that I am the jealous type, but I would suggest a….

    “you best mate has thought about shagging your girlfriend, click here to smack him in the face”

    oh, and the “erectometer”

    … “click here to let everyone know you are currently as hard as a rock”

  6. Eliza · November 22, 2007

    an application that tells everyone on facen=book that you don’t really want to be on facebook but you missed out on so many frickin parties and ‘banter’ you had to join.

  7. Eliza · November 22, 2007

    i’m good at spelling.

  8. The Girl · November 22, 2007

    47 times.

    And it’s only just lunchtime.

  9. Glammer again · November 22, 2007

    eGay – sell your friends’ bums on the internet to rich, ugly gayers.

    Lust Buster – I dunno how it works but it sounds mean.

    Account of Monte Cristo – online banking with free classic movies. Hey, they don’t all have to be dyumbass ideas.

  10. clarissa · November 22, 2007

    There is something unsaid between you and Fat Jim (?)

  11. Mr H · November 22, 2007

    Why is it that every time you mention blowjobs, Fat Jim appears somewhere in a nearby sentence?

  12. TheBoy · November 22, 2007

    You really, really have to get back to work…

  13. mike · November 22, 2007

    Hey, I’m a rich ugly gayer! Where do I sign?!

  14. Mr Angry · November 22, 2007

    mike – Just how rich are we talking here…

  15. Mupps · November 22, 2007

    Mupps has facebook stalked 17 ex-boyfriends and schoolmates today. Tell Mupps to get a life.

  16. Four Dinners · November 22, 2007

    Hate Facebook. Kept getting offered booze – which is good – but then realised it wasn’t real booze – which is bad.

    Also was asked to become a vampire zombie or a zombie vampire or some’at. Odd.

    Also kept getting poked but somehow didn’t notice. Weird.

    Very strange place is Facebook.