Come fuck with us

Have you seen the new Virgin Airlines 25th anniversary advert?

It is a celebration of 25 years in the business, and ends with the tag line, “Still red hot”.  The advert is a 90 second message which is essentially saying, “Come and fly with us, because you will definitely want to have sex with all of the the air hostesses, and you women passengers will want to shag the pilots.”

I suppose it’s true that sex sells, so I should not be surprised.  But personally I think it is false advertising.  I flew to Barbados with Virgin last summer, and there were some right dogs serving the drinks.  I was in cattle class, admittedly, but still.  They were still very good at their jobs, don’t get me wrong.  I just didn’t want to have sex with them.  I do not know if they wanted to have sex with me, it never came up.

Virgin are setting themselves up for a fall with this campaign.  How many horny travellers will pay that little extra to fly Virgin only to find themselves being served peanuts by Anne Widdecombe’s ugly sister?  Of course, there are people who like that sort of thing, and pay good money for it, but why travel across the Atlantic to get fed by ten ton Tess?  There lots of websites and private members clubs you can visit if you are into ugly fatties.  Probably.

Anyway, if you happen to work for Virgin, and look like the cabin crew in the video, feel free to get in touch to correct me.

11 comments

  1. TOWTAL · January 26, 2009

    This is one of the most insightful, contemporary pieces that you have ever written. For the record, I agree with you about the ads, and generally I do try to travel Virgin whenever I can just because of the “mystique”. Surprised you haven’t discussed the link between the advertising/image message and the name of the company. Surely this is some sort of irony too.

  2. Keef · January 26, 2009

    Wow I mean wow! do Virgin stewardesses really all look like that? I’ve never flown Virgin but if they do then I’m obviously missing out. Going on personal experience I would say that Qatar Airways and Singapore Air tend to be up there when it comes to the hotness rating of the stewardesses, Qatar goes for an International Bevy of Beauties look and as for Singapore I’ve always had a major thing for Asian women (but then who doesn’t)
    The other end of the scale is the discount airways, EasyJet makes no attempt to hide the fact that the stewardesses are airborne waitresses and seem to recruit accordingly. As for Ryanair they seem to delight in rubbing your nose in the fact that your ticket is cheap and on the one flight I’ve taken with them I’ve never seen such a collection of dogs.
    One thing I did notice though is that all these women in this advert were wearing stilettos, why are we being stopped from taking nail files and nose hair clippers on board planes when all the mad ragheads have to do is pinch the stewardesses shoes to stab people with?

  3. StokeySiren · January 26, 2009

    Any excuse to mention your trip to Barbados…again

  4. Mr Angry · January 26, 2009

    TOWTAL – That is a good point, I would be tempted by an airline called “Complete Slags”

    Keef – That’s the point, they don’t. In fact, I doubt any of the women in that advert even WORK for Virgin.

    Stokeysirent – What, you mean that free holiday I had last year? Of course not.

  5. Misty · January 26, 2009

    Try being a woman – all male cabin crew are gay, fact! And most are not even eye candy, no matter how much you pay for a ticket.

  6. Megan · January 26, 2009

    Misty is absolutely right – although one very nice lad was beautifully commiserating over the fact that the idiot airline had put velcro on the seats exactly where it would snag one’s stocking if one were being polite and moving one’s legs out of the way for someone. He also complimented my shoes and told me his favorite place in San Francisco for a pedicure.

    I would also point out that I have yet to see a captain with a full head of hair (except the one who was striding through the terminal chatting up the flight attendant, and as both of them were reasonably attractive I’m absolutely sure they were hired on simply to walk through the airport and raise the tone a bit).

  7. TOWTAL · January 26, 2009

    FAO Misty

    Misty – surely it’s therefore incumbent on female passengers to have a look around the male passengers and maybe say hello to one of us lovely passenger chaps too. We’re allowed to touch, which the crew can’t!

  8. Misty · January 26, 2009

    TOWTAL – I shall bear that in mind the next time Im flying, although the 5am flights out of my local airport are hardly inducive to anyone looking their best.

  9. Shackleford Hurtmore · January 26, 2009

    “[…] they wanted to have sex […] it never came up.”

    Check your email spam folder. There are remedies available for that situation.

  10. Preacher · January 26, 2009

    Wonder how many of the girls in the ad are actually Virgins?

    Wonder how many real air hostesses are actually Virgins. Probably just the ugly fat ones….depending on how much booze you’ve had….not that I necessarily meant you personally of course…er

  11. Sigg3 · January 26, 2009

    Nice ad.
    I have never been on a Virgin airplane, but I wouldn’t necessarily wish to board a virgin any longer so to speak. I’ll take a fun Slut any day.

    Having said that I really enjoy flying with Ryan Air. You get exactly what you pay for: WORST. TRIP. EVER.