Television

I wonder…

February 25, 2008

…Is Greg Rusedski a mental? I mean a proper window-licking mental, not just a bit ‘wacky’. I only ask after recently watching Dancing on Ice, or whatever it is called, whilst visiting my folks. As he stumbled across the ice in his lycra one-piece, he looked about as comfortable as Abu Hamza during a piano [...]

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Picking your point of dispute

February 12, 2008

I heard on the radio yesterday that the BBC has been inundated with complaints about its new drama series, Ashes to Ashes. The show, for the uninitiated, is a follow up to the hugely successful series Life on Mars, about a policeman hit by a car an who then appears to have traveled back in [...]

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Sex Tapes

February 1, 2008

Why do people make them? I know why people watch them, obviously, I would probably have started watching Big Brother if the celebrity versions did not exist, but why would you want to make one? Performance anxiety before the event puts you under enough pressure as it is. The last thing you need is the [...]

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The Atom

January 22, 2008

I have recently been watching the repeated BBC Four documentary series The Atom. I am not a geek by the way. When I was at school I was always interested in science, but there was no money or chicks in it, so I gave it up at GCSE level. This was almost immediately after my [...]

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My fuckwit friends #5

September 11, 2007

As I sat there, I could hear her sniffling like a flu-ridden coke addict. I knew what was happening at the other end of the sofa, even before I looked across. I finally glanced over as she wiped away a tear and tried to hide her face. I looked back at the TV. “It’s emotional!” [...]

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Television liars

August 2, 2007

ITV have been told off again, this time for leading people to believe they were seeing the final throes of a dying man’s life. This man, Malcolm Pointon, was 66 years old and suffering from Alzheimer’s disease. Apparently he did not die for a few more days, which is nice, you know, for him and [...]

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Credits

August 1, 2007

I have never written a TV show, but if I had, I guarantee that you and everyone else I have ever met would be well aware of the fact. Apparently Americans, one of the most self-congratulatory societies on the planet, do not feel the same way. I say this after watching some television on the [...]

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I hate Powergen

June 18, 2007

“Today’s weather, brought to you by Powergen.” Also known as “Today’s torrential rain and washed out garden party, brought to you by Powergen” This is worst piece of promotional sponsorship I have ever heard of. British weather is, in the main, fucking abysmal. There are good days, yes, but largely we wish our island was [...]

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Big Blogger

June 5, 2007

Big Brother is rubbish for many reasons. It has a house full of inebriated sex-hungry social inadequates, games designed to let the house mates make fools of themselves, and literally millions of cerebrally-challenged morons glued to screens watching them do it. Of course, these are all excellent reasons why Big Blogger is also a great [...]

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He is at it again!

April 25, 2007

Last year I wrote about an episode in the late 90′s where Denis Leary stole my joke. I was obviously angry at the time, but I felt confident that after outing him on the Internet, to literally dozens of computer literate nerds, he would have been shamed into learning his lesson. For good. Oh how [...]

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