People

Queuing

January 30, 2009

As part of the ongoing fun-less month of Sober January, a few of us, including Mr & Mrs Fat Jim went to the local Cinema on Saturday night to see the new Tom Cruise film, Valkyrie.  I had been careful not to read any reviews, as I did not want to accidentally read a spoiler [...]

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Sober night out

January 22, 2009

We took our seats in the pub and I looked at my watch.  It was 10:13pm. This Friday night was something of an experiment.  Myself, Fat Jim, Mrs Fat Jim and Amy were having a night out as part of our Detoxification January.  This involved zero alcohol for the entire evening. Nada. We had been [...]

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Scaryfied to death!

January 20, 2009

“Why is he still outside?” I asked. “He’s been out there ages.” “He’s scarifying the lawn.” I had never heard the term scarifying before, and it sounded absolutely terrifying.  I had images of my friend jumping out on the lawn shouting “Boo!” or running around with a sheet over his hard pretending to be a [...]

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And one for yourself…

January 19, 2009

I am stood at the bar in Paddington station with half an hour to kill till my next train.  I may not have mentioned it much, but I am not drinking during January, so I have the embarrassment of ordering a mineral water to look forward to.  I am sure my liver is thanking me.  [...]

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Pissing colours

January 16, 2009

One of the best things about being a bloke is having the ability to take a leak standing up. Yes, I know women now have the she-wee, but it is not the same, I have tried it. The ingenuity of man has taken this basic physical ability and used it to develop the most space [...]

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A strange call

January 12, 2009

My phone rings. It is a number I do not recognise, though this in itself is not that unusual as so many of my friends have recently changed jobs and mobile numbers. “Hello?” I answer, wondering which mate has made a New Year career change necessitating a new phone. “Heeeeeyyy!” slurs the person at the [...]

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Coming out to play

January 8, 2009

“Do you want to come and play with my hot air balloon?” asked my friend Amy. I will admit, this is the most exciting start to a telephone conversation I have had in absolutely ages.  A hot air balloon?  Who wouldn’t! “Yes, yes I most definitely would!” “Good, we sort of need a boy to [...]

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The return of Fat Jim

January 5, 2009

“Hi.” said Fat Jim over the phone, somewhat drearily. “I need a favour.” “Nice to hear from you Fat Jim.  You need a favour eh?” “Yes.” “Does it involve effort or expense on my part?” “No, not really.” “Okay then, shoot.” “Do you have Stan’s number?” “Yes, yes I do.” I replied, wondering why he [...]

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Toilet Humour

December 11, 2008

Anyone who has listened to even a few minutes of one of the podcasts will know that I can not resist making a cheap knob gag.  It is the way my brain is wired.  Some people can complete Sudoku puzzles after looking at them for moments, whereas I can spot a cock joke in just [...]

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Veggie Pie

December 8, 2008

My friend TOWTAL (The One Who Talks A Lot) somehow convinced his girlfriend to marry him. This means she will endure a life of barely getting a word in, but she seems happy enough.  It was also a great excuse for a massive party with friends I haven’t seen in many years. As we sat [...]

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