Celebrities

World Cup 2010

July 17, 2008

I note with interest that the authorities in South Africa are looking to legalise prostitution for the duration of the World Cup in 2010. I think this is a bit premature on their part.  Firstly, England have yet to qualify, and even if we do, there is no guarantee that Wayne Rooney will make the [...]

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Choices

July 11, 2008

There is a lot to be said for selling your soul to the devil.  Look at the success of odious ginger dwarf Anthony Worrall Thompson, you can not tell me that hasn’t come without the help of Lucifer himself. Not only has he opened a ‘Grill’ nearby (which incidentally has had some of the worst [...]

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Second night out

June 13, 2008

After licking our wounds (not a euphemism) due to the previous nights lack of success, we decided to try one of the islands other infamous hotspots. This particular club, Harbour Lights, had an unusual door policy. For the equivalent of about six pounds you not only gained entrance to the venue, you could also drink [...]

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A week away

June 12, 2008

I am back, safe and sound. I am sure you were all concerned at my sudden and unplanned disappearance, but I am glad we have reached that point in our relationship where not one of you needed to email to check I was OK. Which I was, you know, if you were wondering and not [...]

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Autobiographical confessions

May 21, 2008

Celebrity autobiographies always contain confessions, whether they be of a drug taking past, or a dubious history of bulimia. In keeping with this trend Cherie Blair’s recent autobiography contained the confession that she spent the night with Tony the first night that they met. A lot of women will say she gave it up to [...]

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The Krankies

May 16, 2008

I have been at home for a couple of days visiting my folks, which always seems to offer me plenty of things to write about on here. Last night they insisted on watching a programme called ‘TV’s Funniest Music Moments’ on ITV2 which showed clips of various celebrities making utter arses of themselves to music [...]

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Saint George

April 24, 2008

Yesterday was Saint George’s Day. I didn’t actually realise it was Saint George’s Day until the afternoon, as it tends not to be celebrated with any form of street carnival or fireworks. Which is a shame for Saint George. If indeed that is his real name. You see, Saint George was from what is now [...]

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Two Jags

April 22, 2008

I was shocked to see that John Prescott announced over the weekend that he was a sufferer of Bulimia. Not shocked that he had it, more that the qualification criteria to be defined as a bulimic is so much lower than I had thought. I was always under the impression that bulimia sufferers would sneak [...]

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I wonder…

February 25, 2008

…Is Greg Rusedski a mental? I mean a proper window-licking mental, not just a bit ‘wacky’. I only ask after recently watching Dancing on Ice, or whatever it is called, whilst visiting my folks. As he stumbled across the ice in his lycra one-piece, he looked about as comfortable as Abu Hamza during a piano [...]

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Lookey-likey

February 7, 2008

I stopped in my tracks. Which is something I rarely do in Tesco’s car park, as I tend to try and escape that particular pit of despair as quickly as humanly possible. I did a double take, followed by a treble, then quadruple take. It could not be, surely? Yet there before me, loading his [...]

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