The worst jokes I have ever written

A couple of years ago I got a short-lived, but reasonably lucrative gig writing jokes for a mobile phone company. I know this sounds amazingly glamorous, but in reality meant a lot of staring out of windows, eating biscuits and creating puns so bad they physically hurt to put into words on the screen.

Killing me softly, with her words

The human body is a wonderful device. It has all sorts of clever ways of telling you when something is wrong with it. It can make you sick, it can make you pass out, it can even make it feel like your heart is about to leap from your chest in the search of a few fleeting moments of rest. Which is how I felt as her words were shouted at me.

My new scar

Scars are cool. I heard that somewhere once. I’m pretty sure the words I heard next were, “Chicks dig guys with scars”. I’m also pretty confident that what they meant to say was, “Chicks dig guys with scars – as long as they weren’t earned in a ridiculously embarrassing manner.”

I done a book

I realise that hardly anyone visits these pages these days, seeing as I never write anything any more.  But the truth is, I have been writing, just not here.  My other pet project, NewsArse, has been keeping me very busy indeed, and we’ve now released…

It's Bad Gag Day!

It is finally here! Today, you can log in to Twitter and post your bad jokes adding the phrase ‘#badgag’ at the end.  This hashtag will let other people, including non-twitterers, follow the day’s gags as they appear. If you don’t use Twitter, you can…

Bad Gag Day

I have discovered this brilliant thing on the Internet called Twitter.  It is a bit like text messaging, but to everyone on the Internet.  You should really go and have a look, it is going to be massive when everyone else finds out about it. …

I go for a run

This morning, struck by the sunshine and the bathroom scales’ most recent verdict, I decided to go for a run. I used to go running at least once a week, which combined with playing football and reasonably regular visits to the gym, kept me in…

A busy week

This week has been a little bit busy, I had a few posts in mind, one including a visit to the post office, which is always worthy of a few hundred words. But now I’m thinking I might just talk about it on the podcast…

My new plaything

It’s been a bit quiet around here recently, hasn’t it? I know that, you know that, so we might as well come out and say it. It’s not you, it’s me. It’s because I’ve been playing away from home.  Sorry about that.  But like a…

Just say no!

Drug pushers are targetting ever younger people in order to generate demand for their products.  It is a shameful practise, and one we should all be doing our level best to eliminate. But how do you spot a drug pusher?  And how do you know…