Bigging it up

All around the world there are species of animal on the verge of extinction.  This is a shame, especially when man has had an effect on the species’ survival.  They really should look to stop what this man is doing.   He is causing a lot of problems.  A discussion of the plight of endangered animals due to the impact of this man led to a friend them correcting me when I mentioned someone who had sponsored a Panda.

“You mean GIANT Panda”

“Do I?”

“Yes, you do.  It’s called the giant Panda.”

I am pretty sure this is just a marketing ploy, because I don’t think they are giant at all.  Not that I have seen one in real life, but they do look like small-ish black and white bears.  Admittedly, a lot of things look quite big when stood next to a Chinamen (I am still convinced the Great Wall of China is a bit like the M42), but surely calling them ‘giant’ is stretching it a bit?

So I did some research and it turns out they were correct, they really are called Giant Pandas.  Which begs the question, where are all the normal-sized Pandas?  Have they already died out?  It would be typical of our society to focus on the freaks and ignore all the normal animals.  It is the X Factor and Big Brother generation in all it’s glory.

So I did a little search, and there was a smaller panda.  Do you know what it was called?

It was called The Pygmy Giant Panda.

So it was still a giant, but it’s a bit of a small one.  However, calling it The Panda would never do.  How would they raise millions world-wide for research into a species with such a common sounding name as The Panda?  No, they have to sex it up a bit.  The Little Big Panda sounded too native-American I guess, and the Mini Massive Panda sounds a bit silly.  I am pretty sure The Titchy Enormous Panda also made the shortlist, but none had the ring of it’s final name.

So Pygmy Giant Panda it is.  Once again pandering (ahem) to societies need to embrace the freaks.


  1. kerri · January 27, 2009

    On the feeds, Google Ad’s gets right to the nub of the matter as regards giant bears..

  2. Mr Angry · January 27, 2009

    kerri – That is BRILLIANT! Clearly Google still have some work to do to perfect that ‘context’ relevant service.

  3. Keef · January 27, 2009

    There’s apparently an animal called a Red Panda which looks very similar but is a type of raccoon, also apparently up until recently the biology geeks also considered the Giant Panda (appearances not withstanding) to be a raccoon as well rather than a bear but have now decided that it is indeed a bear.
    Perhaps to stay in line with these standards we should rename Polar Bears so they’re called the Enormous Polar With Huge Frigging Teeth Bear

  4. StokeySiren · January 27, 2009

    Those gay bears are gorgeous *sigh*

  5. Sewmouse · January 27, 2009

    REALLY big bears don’t NEED an adjective. Grizzly’s are ginormous, the thought of a “Giant Grizzly” brings to mind something on the scale of “Godzilla”.

  6. Duck · January 27, 2009

    Forget pandas. Penguins suffer much more greatly at the hands of our colonial friends.

    Apparently the Little Penguin is commonly known as the Fairy Penguin in Oz. God knows what Google images will make of that.

  7. Megan · January 27, 2009

    I just assumed they were named by men. I mean, who hasn’t heard, “nah darlin’, really, it’s just a PYGMY giant…”

  8. Misty · January 27, 2009

    Megan – absolutely!

    I once sponsered a Dolphin, it was called a bottle-nose, but it didn’t have a becks for a snout.

  9. john gibson · January 27, 2009

    there is a red panda, I saw some once in the cotswold wildlife park in oxfordshire.