A helping hand

“Do you need anything from the shops?” I asked, helpfully.

I had knocked on a couple of my elderly neighbours doors to see if they wanted anything whilst I popped out to the shops during the “The Worst Snow Fall In Years”.

My first neighbour had chuckled and said they were fine but thanked me for asking anyway. The second had asked me for a bottle of milk, which I was happy to pick up. The third though, had looked at me strangely.

“The shops?”

“Yes, I’m heading that way, and I noticed your car hadn’t moved since the snow came down, so I wondered if you wanted me to pick anything up for you?”

“I’m not giving you any money.”

“Well, yes, I understand that. I don’t mean to be patronising, I just wondered if you wanted anything, as I was heading that way anywa…”

“Is this a scam?”

“No, I assure you this isn’t a scam. I couldn’t scam an old person even if I wanted to, which I don’t, as most of you are skint anyway, so you’re perfectly safe. I’m happy to get you what you need, provide you with a receipt, and you can pay only for what you want.”

“Where’s the catch?”

“There isn’t one, I promise.”

“There’s always a catch. Is this one of those hunting scams I’ve read about?”

“It’s not a scam, I’m only trying to help, honestly.”

“No. No, I don’t think so.”

And with that, she closed the door on me. Admittedly, she is someone who I have only spoken to maybe a couple of times in the three years I’ve lived here, but still, I would have hoped to have garnered a little trust among our small community.

Somewhat unusually, I felt good about myself having at least made the gesture, but now I am struggling to stop myself from knocking on her door to see if she said “hunting” when she actually meant “Phishing”.


  1. Misty · February 6, 2009

    Aahh aren’t you a sweetie.

    Were you trying to impress some gorgeous young thing who lives nearby? Or do the oldies have attractive kids/grandkids?

  2. Mr Angry · February 6, 2009

    Misty – None of the above. I am merely a much nicer person than you people give me credit for… Honest.

  3. Gnarlyswine · February 6, 2009

    sounds like you are really having a tough time of it back in the UK. Im thankfull that its only -29F (-33C) here this week and we have only had 2 meters of snow so far this winter instead of the 4.37 meteres they have had further up Ontario in Muskoka.
    I suppose if it gets as bad as you guys have had it people will stop cycling to work.

    You bunch of gays.

  4. Z · February 6, 2009

    Oh you charming young man, that would be lovely of you. Hang on a minute while I get my list. I’ve got several cloth shopping bags, and you won’t go to that nasty Tesco, will you? I’ll make some nice flapjacks for when you get back.

  5. Sewmouse · February 6, 2009

    You certainly do get CYM points (Charming Young Man) for these self-less acts of kindness for your neighbors.

    Good on ya.

  6. ubermouth · February 6, 2009

    What a crusty old cow ,eh?

  7. Jonners · February 6, 2009

    I need to bump off an old lady so that Katy can join the ranks of the unemployed and UK Plc will still balance the books, and luckily it appears that we might have a candidate…

    Just pass on her address. The “boys” will do the rest.

    No mess. No fuss. No job too small.

    Their words, not mine.