Anyone who has listened to even a few minutes of one of the podcasts will know that I can not resist making a cheap knob gag. It is the way my brain is wired. Some people can complete Sudoku puzzles after looking at them for moments, whereas I can spot a cock joke in just about any situation. It is not that I can not do high-brow cutting satire, I can, and in fact did at least twice in early 2007. Yet still, aged twenty-thirteen, I can not pass up the opportunity to revert back to my thirteen year old self and go for the easy bum/fanny/knob (delete at appropriate) gag, whilst offering myself a virtual high-five across a twenty-year rift in the time-space continuum.
So my thirteen year-old self was quite excited to notice that my local pub had replaced the normal toilet sign with an A4 sheet of paper adorned with a hangman style matchstick man. The matchstick man was underneath the word ‘GENTS’ in large lettering, and I admired their thoroughness in preventing any embarrassing accidents for their illiterate visiting guests.
I was excited to notice the sign because my first though was, “Wouldn’t it be be funny to draw a cock on it.”
This is not grafitti by the way. I saw it as extra clarification for the illiterate visitors. Technically, the matchstick man could also be a matchstick woman as he was missing any sexual organs of any kind. I suppose it would have been funny to add a vagina to the matchstick person (as a lesson to illiterates to go back to school), but I really do not know to draw a convincing cartoon vagina, and I did not want to draw an unconvincing one and add more confusion to the situation.
So I decided to draw a cock.
But then, as I approached the sign I noticed that someone had beaten me to it!
The drawing (click for the full size) is somewhat juvenile in that they have depicted an erect penis in the process of ejaculation, which would normally call for the addition of a ‘cum face’ to the matchstick man, but it is not my place to adjust someone else’s work (I do not live in a Daniel Powter video). At least they had included the testicles, so it was anatomically correct.
I have yet to find out the identity of the phantom knob-artiste (it is difficult to conduct such an investigation without drawing unwanted attention), but I will keep looking, as I get the feeling we would get on very well indeed.
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I read an article recently about pregnant mothers who were exposed to chemicals known to block androgen in men had sons with smaller than average penises. Perhaps the person who drew this picture was did so as a prophesy to the fate of man in the future.
Apologies to anyone who left a comment on this thread. During my recent server move it seems all the comments on this post were deleted. I especially apologise if you wrote something terribly witty.