Great Moments in Comedy: The early drafts #2

November 17, 2008

INT. RESTAURANT. DAY.
BASIL FAWLTY
So that's two Egg Mayonnaise, a Prawn Goebbels,
A Hermann Goring, and four Colditz salads....
No wait a minute, I got confused here, sorry.  I got
a bit confused because everyone keeps mentioning
 the war.  So could you....what's the matter?
Basil acknowledges the now crying female lunch guest.
GERMAN #1
It's all right.
BASIL FAWLTY
Is there something wrong?
GERMAN #1
Will you stop talking about the war!
BASIL FAWLTY
Me?  You started it!

GERMAN #1
We did not start it!

BASIL FAWLTY
Yes you did, you....No.  No you're right.
I apologise, I am the proprietor of this hotel
and I apologise.  Please accept lunch on me
by way of a proper apology.

GERMAN #1
Thank you.
Basil leaves them and enters the kitchen.  He hits Manuel around the head and
then begins verbally abusing him.
BASIL FAWLTY
Manuel!  I am so going to do the sex with
your grand-daughter.  You have no idea the
things we will get up to!

Producer’s Notes:
I like it, but I think he lets the Germans off a bit lightly.  The free lunch has got to go.  Maybe another joke about the war?  Perhaps something about the Jews or Poland?  How about a Hitler impression? Or even better, how about Hitler with a really funny walk!  I know John says he’s left all that behind, but I am sure we could convince him to do it again if the context was good.

{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }

Maggin November 17, 2008 at 9:14 am

Haha.

Reply

Mr Angry November 17, 2008 at 12:25 pm

Maggin – Hello, and thanks. I am going to assume that is not sarcastic.

Reply

Jaggy November 17, 2008 at 12:53 pm

HaHa (sarcastically)

Reply

Misty November 17, 2008 at 1:32 pm

Haha (not sarcastically)

Reply

Jonners November 17, 2008 at 1:41 pm

Ha-Ha (hyphenetically and not horticulturally)

Reply

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