“What’s that?” asked my friend Blondie as she greeted me at the door.
“It’s my entry.” I replied, handing over my entry.
“Your entry to what?”
“Your best pumpkin competition, for the party.”
“Right. It’s just that, well, it’s not a pumpkin.”
“Oh I realise that. There were none left in Tesco when I went in earlier, so I thought rather than not take part in the festivities, I would improvise.”
“OK. So what, exactly, is that?”
“It’s a grapefruit. It was the biggest one in the shop.”
“And you’ve drawn a scary face on it.”
“Yes, yes I have. Do I win?”
“No. No you do not.”
Some people are such fascists regarding the minor details of annual celebrations. They fail to recognise the true meaning of Halloween, which is of course the celebration of drawing faces of foodstuffs. Let us not be vegist or fruitist. It matters not which vegetable is adorned by a face, merely that you have taken part and doodled on something edible.
No, they didn’t fall for that either.
{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }
It makes a better soup later if you get a variety of veg, so I quite agree, the grapefruit was a bad idea. Surely Tesco had some parsnips or something?
You would have been better taking some Robinsons barely water rather than the grapefruit because at least that’s a squash
Hee hee, very good, Uncle Norman.
If you’d hollowed out the grapefruit and carved a face instead of just scribbling on it in marker pen, you might have had an argument. Or turnips or swedes, though bloody difficult to hollow out, are traditional for Halloween decoration.
Look, I don’t think you people realise just how difficult it is to draw on a citrus fruit. I really thought I’d get more credit than this.
“I really thought I’d get more credit than this.”
At what point did you get ANY credit?
A turnip is traditionally used in Scotland, no marker pen required, just a sharp knife and muscles of steel.
Did you point out that you were simultaneously providing festive decorated food-stuffs AND protecting the party against scurvy? This kind of social responsibility is rare these days. Should have gotten you an extra three points easy.
ahh, see I would have said that I dressed up my pumpkin as a grapefruit for Halloween. Drawing faces on pumpkins is played out already. Now drawing a face on a grapefruit masquerading as a pumpkin is f*ckin priceless.