After arriving back home in the UK quite late on Saturday evening, I got up early on Sunday to head back to me real home in Northamptonshire to see my folks for Easter. I had no milk, bread or cereal so I decided to skip breakfast and hit the road north sooner rather than later.
I got quite hungry around Oxford, due to my brekky skippedness, so I pulled into the services to get a bite to eat. I browsed around distinctly limited services and decided on a KFC burger, as I quite like the taste of genetically engineered chicken slathered in a breadcrumb covering so secret it makes MI5 look like a Pontins AGM.
I noted that a fillet tower meal was £4.29, but decided to order just a burger and coke, as I did not want to ruin my appetite for the home made Irish roast dinner that was just a few short hours away. I always like to celebrate the death of our Lord the Saviour with a full stomach, and dumplings.
“That’ll be £4.89” said the server with the name Trainee on his badge.
“Oh, you must have made a mistake, I only want the burger and a coke. Nothing else.”
“Yes, that’s right. That’ll be £4.89.”
“But it’s only £4.29 for the whole meal which, includes fries.”
“That’s right.”
“So by paying more, I actually receive less?”
“Well, I guess so.” said the somewhat bemused KFC till operative.
“In fact, you’re paying me 60p to take a portion of fries I don’t want, and have no intention of eating.”
“Well, yes, I suppose so.”
“If that’s the case, I’d be perfectly happy to take three portions of fries, if you want to give me £1.80?”
He looked at me for a few moments, unsure if I was serious. I decided to clarify this for him.
“I am serious. If you give me £1.80 I really will eat three portions of fries.”
“I’m sorry, we can’t do that. Do you just want the meal then?”
I said I did, and made a point of removing the fries from the bag and leaving them on the counter. The burger was adequate.
{ 17 comments… read them below or add one }
i salute your bravery. Now tell us about that irish roast …
The KFC at Oxford Services I know it well.
The last time we went to Legoland a few years ago we stopped there for something to eat.
That till they have where they press a button for each item had broken down and the spotty faced youth was trying to work things out with paper and pencil. I can’t describe how difficult he seemed to find this. In the end my son who was 10 or 11 at the time took the pencil off him and did it for him much to the vast amusement of the queue of people behind us.
Leaving your fries on the counter was a genius tour de force.
I know that they will have taken the inference on board now and I’d be extremely surprised if they haven’t changed their pricing system already.
Well done you.
I would have eaten the fries. They were paid for! Bloody Southeners…
B.
If I was paid to eat I daresay I would never stop and end up looking as if I belonged in the obese carriage on the train.
I bet the trainee ate the fries….bet he was spotty too.
Wait – how the hell are we supposed to succeed in our nefarious American plot to lure you people into out-fatting us if you leave the goddamn fries on the counter? Look, McDonalds was just to ease into things, the beach-head if you will. KFC is the full invasion force with the secret ingredient that, I’m told, causes one to crrrrrrave it fortnightly. Y’all will succumb you know, so make it easier on everyone and eat the fucking fries.
You can get cheese and gravy on the KFC fries here in Canadialand – Megan is definately on to something – I think you can get Bacon , Cheese , Lard , Caffeine and red meat on the chicken burger as well .
There are no services at oxford these services are at Thame.
Bravo!
(there are services at Oxford – near the M40)
There ARE services at Oxford…every Sunday!
Exactly as you should do, leave the crappy little fried buggers on the counter…
I have always prefered Cambridge services
I think you should have binned the fries, and talking about binning things there is a great clip of our mutual friend the buzzard describing a different but equally rude act. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t-dcr1RCG7s
Do you know how many Africans those fries could’ve fed? Probably not very many, so they’d no doubt be eyeing your burger and coke, too. Leaving them was for the best. Give a man some fries and he eats for five minutes; give a man a potato and he can cook his own damn fries.
You made the right move. The burger might be tasty, but Dirty Bird fries are shit.
KFC gives one the shits, I can’t abide it. £4.89 for a bloody burger and coke, I ask you.
What annoys the hell out of me is that this burger et al for £4.89 will be only $4.89 in the US. I’m sick of this happening over here.