There are ‘not bad’ tattoos, and there are really shit tattoos.
A good tattoo is a nice, small, tasteful design at the base of a woman’s spine. This can, sometimes, be a thing of beauty. It is also a sign that the woman has a reasonable pain threshold so a bit of bum-fun might be on the agenda.
A bad tattoo is usually adorning a fat man and will likely be a picture of a football club crest, or a name across his knuckles.
Then there is a Tramp Stamp.
The Tramp Stamp is usually found just above the arse of a portly chavette, and if your eyes can become accustomed to the glare from the copious amounts of Elizabeth Duke on her wrists, hands, ears and neck, you might be able to see it. It is normally distorted due to the muffin top action going on either side, but if you can make out the drooping pattern, then I am afraid to say that you are probably too close for comfort.
Please tell me none of you have one. Especially the women.
{ 23 comments… read them below or add one }
No, but I *almost* had a tat done there but changed my mind rather quickly when I saw the number of Vicky Pollards round Bristol sporting them.
That and a quote from Wedding Crashers (sorry): “Tattoo on the lower back? Might as well be a bullseye.”
The worst ones are forearm tattoos on women. *shudders*
Two nights ago I was mooned by a fat chavette.
Needless to say the arse which with its fake tan liberously applied to the cellulite ridden skin reminded me of a rather large orange tinted walnut.
But onto point, her tatoo, if such a massacre of the word should be allowed, looked like it had once been in a straight line around the base of her back. Now it hung like a mexican’s moustache following the drooping line of copious fat.
no, i don’t have one, but not because i don’t have a high pain threshold.
Get the tatoo right and they can look gorgeous especially the complete back, all one picture, from shoulders to base of spine! Have none myself though. Although even the worst tatoos are better than those awful cheek piercings where they look like a colander.
nope, the worsehalf won’t let me, he says they are trouncil (his made up word for trampy and council)
I don’t know who ELizabeth Duke is so I’m presuming one has to be quite council to even have heard of her, never mind know about her goods and services. That would make you a chav. You chav.
Germans call them “Arschgeweih”, literally “Ass antlers”.
Those things look trashy anywhere in the world.
I’ve gone for a tasteful skull with a dagger through it and a snake coming out of the eye socket. It says MUM underneath. Quite nice it is too.
In a more true story, I know someone called Colin that got ‘COL’ on his arm in gothic lettering as it cost more for five letters. Nobody calls him Col. He doesn’t even call himself Col. He’s just tight. Tosser.
Nope no tattoos. Just my belly button pierced.
Even the “good tattoo” would look shit on a seventy year old.
Im now worried that mine is a Tramp Stamp! Although its at the base of my spine rather than atop my rear, so hopefully it falls in the good category.
Are you telling me that the flames of lightening up my inner thighs, the barbed wire round my bicep and the black panther across my back is tacky? You are such a mummies boy, you bludy big girl’s blouse. I bet you hate them because girls like us could beat you in an arm wrestle, and any other kind of “love wrestle” that ensued.
I don’t like tattoos ever since my parents did this to me.
http://www.tattooblog.org/entry/leopard-man-of-skye-scotland-wasnt-born-like-this/
CELESTE YOUR ALIVE!!!!
Your coments thing is broken on your blog
I remember being in a taxi at uni with some girls on a night out. Didn’t know one of them particularly well, but I started saying how I’d seen this girl around uni with this utterly hideous playboy bunny on her lower back. This would be fine, I continued, if she hadn’t put on shit loads of weight and got herself a new set of love handles which have now stretched the tattoo out of recognition. More chubby bunny than playboy.
The girl I didn’t know that well turned round and said “That’s my housemate”
Oopsy.
No. Tattoos do not age particularly well.
Oli – They don’t? Hmmm. Haven’t posted for a while. Moved house and have been fighting with Virgin Media to get the net. Silly sillyness. Facebook me!
“Trouncil” Like that word!
OK, so what horror stories lies behind this post? Just what aren’t you telling us?
You havn’t got this post idea from four dinners have you?
Im lucky I opened that one at home as it is definately not work safe..
There is a BIG girl in my office who has a lower back tat. I’m regularly *treated* to muffin top/tat exposure and it makes me feel sick. Why do fat people think it’s a good look?
IT ISN’T
ok yes I have to admit I do. It is not large, it is not on base of spine, but somewhere else arse area related and it’s 2cm by 2cm since I was 16, which is, despite ever increasing bumsize, and it is still cool as fuck.
but you can’t see it for asking nicely, let alone as part of ill fitting clothing, super spreading cheeks, muffin tops or whatever else listed above !
Cheryl Cole has just had Mrs Cole tattooed onto the back of her neck.
That’s a wise decision if ever I saw one.
I am glad that only my fit readers have got tattoos.
Celeste, my ex had a belly button piercing, and after months of weeping sores and puss, it was OK I suppose.
Peach – Is it a ‘W’ either side of the exit?
NF Girl – I guess it is easier than stitching it into all her clothes.