October 2007

Early retirement

October 17, 2007

In parts of the media there has been uproar about the possibility of raising the retirement age beyond 65. Yet now, when a 66 year-old man decides it is time to call it a day, it is also considered newsworthy. I wish they would make up their minds. I am not particularly interested in Sir [...]

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Peer Pressure

October 16, 2007

“Go on, try it!” “I am not sure I want to. Isn’t it addictive?” “Not really, this is a much better way of doing it. I’ve been doing it for months and I’m fine aren’t I?” The pressure was incessant. I did not think I would succumb to peer pressure at the age of twenty [...]

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My fuckwit friends #6

October 15, 2007

“Please don’t touch that!” shouted the ambulance woman in my direction. It was my first trip in the back of an ambulance on a legitimate ‘emergency’, and though my friend lay prostrate next to me, my curiosity continued to get the better of me. “I like these beds, they’re a bit futuristic looking, don’t you [...]

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The retail experience

October 12, 2007

I have been watching what all the cool people wear and have noticed that white trainers are ‘in’ at the moment. So, despite the obvious maintenance issues, I decided to buy a pair. After browsing the local JD Sports leisure-wear emporium I found a pair I thought I would like to try on. “I’d like [...]

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"Pass on my regards"

October 11, 2007

I bumped into an old colleague whilst in London last week. We did the usual two minute chat about how each other was doing, and he then pretended he was much more successful than he really is. He then asked who I was still in touch with from the company where we both used to [...]

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You doth protest too much, methinks!

October 10, 2007

“Me thinks you doth protest too much!” I have heard this said many times, and I have in fact used it myself. Usually after a mate has said something like, “She was slim dammit, really skinny, not fat at all, you didn’t see her! She was a super hotty!” What I want to know is [...]

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The Greatest Gift

October 9, 2007

“Give the greatest gift of all. Give Blood.” read the poster. It made me think. Personally, I think that cash is a great gift, but clearly the blood people have other ideas, but then they would say that, wouldn’t they? I suppose blood is, quite literally, the gift that comes from the heart. And I [...]

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Knocked out

October 8, 2007

Those of you who like football probably saw something in the news about the match between Celtic and AC Milan last Wednesday. The result was unexpected, but that was not what made it newsworthy. In the dying moments a fan made his way onto the pitch and tapped the AC Milan goalkeeper, Dida, on the [...]

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More questions

October 5, 2007

The game reserve Ranger had challenged us to ask him more questions, as we had been in quiet awe of our surroundings since the safari began. “What does that dung belong to?” asked the Claw, clearly unaware that dung becomes a shared resource once it is out of the animals bottom. “I think it is [...]

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The Winery

October 4, 2007

“You can expect a fruity sensation at the front of your mouth, but for it to seem a little drier when it reaches the back. It is not unusual to smell berries and chocolate as this is quite a rich red.” I am beginning to see double. I have never been wine tasting before, and [...]

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