August 2007

My fuckwit friends #2

August 14, 2007

My phone rings. I am sat at a table outside a bar by the Thames with some people off of the Internet. It appears, so far, that none of them have been grooming me, so I am quite relaxed. I know that it is sometimes considered rude to answer your phone when you are out [...]

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Hidden Tracks

August 13, 2007

I do not understand bands who try to hide tracks on their albums. What is the point? If the song is so utterly rubbish that they are ashamed of it, why not just remove it all together. It is not like finding a hidden track is like breaking the Da Vinci code, is it? My [...]

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My fuckwit friends #1

August 7, 2007

I finish playing 5 a-side and notice that I have three missed calls on my mobile, all from my old flatmate. This can mean one of two things, either he has some sort accountancy based emergency, or he has the phone in his pocket and is calling me by accident. There is no voicemail message [...]

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Stalker alert

August 6, 2007

“Hello [Angry's home town] police station.” “Hello, I’d like to report a stalker please. And speak to someone about restraining orders.” “Right, OK. And why is that?” “Well, there is this bloke you see, and apparently he ‘loves’ me, but I’m not interested, honestly. I am one hundred and ten percent straight.” “I’m sorry to [...]

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Ketchup

August 3, 2007

I like tomato ketchup. It reminds me of my Mum’s cooking. Back in the really olden days before plasma televisions, ketchup used to come in a solid glass bottle. I know, I know, it is hard to believe. Life truly was a daily struggle. Fortunately someone invented technology and now we have ketchup in squeezy [...]

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Television liars

August 2, 2007

ITV have been told off again, this time for leading people to believe they were seeing the final throes of a dying man’s life. This man, Malcolm Pointon, was 66 years old and suffering from Alzheimer’s disease. Apparently he did not die for a few more days, which is nice, you know, for him and [...]

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Credits

August 1, 2007

I have never written a TV show, but if I had, I guarantee that you and everyone else I have ever met would be well aware of the fact. Apparently Americans, one of the most self-congratulatory societies on the planet, do not feel the same way. I say this after watching some television on the [...]

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