I was told as a child that cheats and liars do not prosper.
If you manipulate the truth, then you go to Hell (this is what comes of a Catholic upbringing). I want to know which bit of hell is being reserved for Max Clifford?
He has made a career out of twisting the truth, and manufacturing situations for the benefit of his clients. Worst of all, he is FAMOUS FOR DOING IT. Yet still, time after time, he manages to pull the wool over our eyes.
I simply do not understand it.
If you went to buy a car, and were greeted by a man who said his job was to twist the facts so the car got the best price possible, would you trust him? Would you buy the car?
Are any of you professional liars? If not, what is the best lie you have ever told for personal benefit? I may choose to share mine, but I will wait to see what everyone else confesses first. It is my blog and I can do what I like.
{ 23 comments… read them below or add one }
Unfortunately lieing is one fo my skills, I am a great salesman when I want to be.
My best job ever was convinceing a girl to put that she was homosexual instead of hetrosexual on a job application form, she truely believed that Homo meant straight. A few days later she gave em a right ear bashing when her mates pointed out how wrong she was.
She got the job though!
Well I held off commenting before but, I work for Visit Wales (Yes thats right Angry, and as your blog lightens my otherwise boring day I’ll overlook Wednesday’s story!)
I spend most of my day telling inward investing companies how great and technology capable Wales is, In fact in Merthyr Tydfil theres nowq a PC with internet access in the Library, so people can sign on without having to que in the jobcentre. (The mouse has been stolen though)
Best lie i heard was ‘it’s your baby’
They say cheats never prosper, but “they” have never checked out Jude Law’s awards wins and nominations.
Max Clifford turned a small-time coke dealer’s whore who had her stereo taken to pay his coke debt into a Hello front page victim. And Kerry got a new flash car out of it. Impressive.
My best lie: it’s not you, it’s me.
Don’t worry, it’s only a heat rash, and it’s not contagious.
Raised a Catholic? A suffering minority you are then — according to the Life in the UK exam prep materials. Is that why you are angry?
About lying on the job: no comment.
My best lie? “I’m no good at lying”
As a technology consultant, my skills lie in getting people to hire me for stupidly large amounts of money.
And I don’t lie honest, seriously – I’m an honest joe who will work all hours for you until your job is complete in the shortest time possible thereby reducing my overall bill. Reading iamlivid.com is part of my job description.
Ha Ha
GH
I very much consider Max Clifford to be in a similar vein to Ambulance Chasing Solicitor’s , arms dealers and pimps (and people who kill holy cows (welsh assembly pls note)) ie profiting from other peoples misery.
Unfortunately the society we live in fervently demands salacious news stories and as long as it does there’ll be a Clifford/Hoon/Hello Magazine/Tom Cruise and fucking Paris Hilton
T
Not sure what happened there. T is not a lie
The best lie that I fall for all the time is the one that a mutual friend of ours tells. That would be the “I play off 15″ lie.
Stupid thing is that I always fall for it and it always costs me money. Either he’s a great liar or I am just really gullible
Best lie ever told to me was by my (then fiancee)husband, when we were moving house.
He told me that he had a coffin in the loft, that he had purchased cheap from an undertakers that was closing down. He said that it made financial sense and he tried a couple out and chose the most comfortable one. I was somewhat freaked out by this but knowing what a tight wad he is I accepted that it was just the sort of thing he’d do. I duely asked the removal men to bring it down from the loft and explained why we had it.
Needless to say there was no coffin up there and he spent the day (and ever since) winding me up about how gullible I am.
My best lie? ‘If I take my finger out you’ll drown!’
Dear Equine
I am a nigerian prince who has $12000000 that i need to move to a new bank account, if you do this for me I will give you $2000000, all you do is send me $25000 to let me set up the transfer because I cannot access my funds till they have been moves to new account
I play off 15
Oli – no problems. Send me your address and I will pop a cheque in the post asap. Sounds easy money to me and I am always happy to help. Can’t wait to tell the wife about our good luck.
Warno – not against me you don’t. Ever again.
Oli – You utter bastard. Have just spoken to the wife and been publicly ridiculed. I wasn’t even aware she knew some of the words she has just called me.
Suffice to say that you will not be getting any of my money.
PS. I sent your cheque to Angry for him to pass on. Would you mind awfully ripping it up as I have no idea how to cancel cheques.
At the weekend, the broadcaster Charlie Brooker ran amongst 500 TV Execs with a huge billboard that said, “Here be liars” whilst shouting at them that they were “all fakers”.
I thought that was pretty funny. Couldn’t comment on how factual the statement is though.
P.S. It was for the next series of Screenwipe, coming to a (decent) telly in the near future.
“They’re real.”
Léonie – They’re not real!?!?
Ha. They are really. I’d hate to disappoint.
“Tell me about it…”
OK – that’s an instruction not a lie. The lie part is implying that you could care less or are even slightly interested.
That’s why, “Tell someone who cares” was so devastating when it first came out, and before it faded due to overuse.
That is DEFINITELY larger than average.