Back in the days when I was a child, I knew a few kids who would walk to a local phone box, place a fake call to the emergency services, and then sit back and watch them arrive, all sirens blazing. They saw this as fun, probably because no-one had invented an X-box that they could play with, or mobile ring-tones that they could dance to in public places.
Obviously, the culprits of these false alarms were chastised, and I lost touch with them over the years, thankfully.
I sometimes wonder what happened to kids like this, who were obsessed by creating false alarms for the emergency services. What possible career could lay ahead of them? Now I know. They get jobs as journalists (I use the term loosely) with the Daily Mirror.
It takes a special kind of person to think that trying to hide a fake bomb on a train in this day and age is a good idea. Special in the window-licking sense of the word. It doesn’t take very much to get seven bullets in the head nowadays, you only have to wear a big coat when it is warm. So imagine what could happen if you were to walk around holding a big suitcase with the word ‘Bomb’ on the side.
I find it a great shame that they did not have the shit kicked out of them by some vigilant members of the public, that would have been really funny. I am sure the headline, “Public vigilance at all time high!” would have adorned the tabloids everywhere.
Fortunately, they were caught in the act, which makes the Daily Mirror happy, as it proves that security has improved. Yes, I imagine they are jumping with delight at the newsroom right now.
If these tabloid journalists really want to be on the front line ensuring public safety, there are lots of other projects they could get involved in. What about driving their cars at speed into walls to check Euro NCAP safety ratings?
What would you like to see them investigating further?
{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }
Given the recent floodings, they should test how long someone can hold his breath underwater and still be revived afterwards. Normal people would risk brain damage doing this, but in their case, the situation can only improve.
I’m with Jan, or better yet have them taste the water in Tewksbury to reassure the locals that cholera isn’t about to make a comeback….
I doo belive that they deserve to be shot on sight by armed police.
That’ll show them that security had REALLY improved.
Perhaps their next trip could be to fake being suicide bombers on the tube.
Fuckwits!
Back in the day (the 70s, not the 70′s) when the Home Internationals were played between England, Scotland and a coupla backwaters, I worked in a factory and on the Saturday that England and Scotland came to blows we were always guaranteed a bomb scare just after the start of the backshift (2pm). No emergency services were called, but the company had to let anybody who wanted to leave site go and watch the football. It was the only time Scottish Protestants, more serious about hatred than their Ulster counterparts were thankful for the IRA.
Maybe they could try the same exercise at Glasgow airport , in John Smeatons baggage handling area.
Or they could arrange a kidnapping by terrorist excercise to check how the government would respond to have them freed – obviously the government attempts would have to be fake.
They can report on how shower safety has improved in the slammer!
Or on the flip side, does that mean that terrorists who get caught putting bombs (or “fake bombs” which fail to detonate) on public transport will just be told off for trespass and being naughty rather than conspiracy to kill and maim? Sounds like a good get out clause if you ask me. “Oh no, I wasn’t planning on blowing up anything, I work for the Daily Taliban – it’s an experiment to test security”
Jan – Useful AND topical, good stuff.
Dr J – put a camera in front of them and I’m sure they would.
AFC – I’m sure it is only a matter of time.
Glammer – much like the massive diarrhea epidemic that struck my office during the World Cup in Japan?
gnarlyswine – I truly with there had been a Smeaton style attack…
Jo – That is a good point. “It would never have exploded your honour, it was just a test”.
make them give head to HIV positive sufferers to test the new vaccine.