As I mentioned a few days ago, I am off to Ireland tomorrow morning for a long weekend and a wedding. I will not be back until Wednesday, so I might not be able to post anything till then.
Whilst I am away I will be scouring the back streets of Dublin searching for Ron’s Pub, as I’m sure that Twenty and his friends would welcome with open arms an Englishman who trades off the fact that he is half-Irish. Honestly, they love that sort of thing over there.
In the meantime I am going to hand over the reigns to you. Yes you. Yes, I really do mean you. (No, not you Fat Jim).
I have spent the last 18 months or so writing about things that have annoyed me from time to time. Now it is your turn. Consider the next few days open season at I am livid. Either write about something that annoys you in the comments, or leave a link to something back at your own site. Anything goes.
I won’t be able to check the comments, so if your comment doesn’t appear it might have been eaten as spam, so try again with less links or mentions of Viagra.
So, over to you, and I will see you on Wednesday or Thursday next week.
{ 53 comments… read them below or add one }
Hey everyone. Don’t you hate it when bloggers don’t update their sites?
Since my blog is about celebs and their annoying ways I couldn’t pick one story, but the “awareness raisers” have been annoying me a lot lately. If it weren’t for Madonna would you have a clue about what’s in the news?
A blogger wrote words
Then dissapeared to Ireland
What a complete cunt
I have some sites for sale
TheContentGuy.com
Come back soon Angry, oh, and update the copyright in the footer of your site… you seem to still be in 2006
“All content is © Mr. Angry 2006. Not that hippy Internet copyright, I mean proper will-sue-your-ass copyright. Oh, and the content is satire, comedy, etc so don’t sue my ass.”
Dave
What annoys me? The way the shops make Easter last from January to April, and Christmas last from August to December… it’s just not special when it lasts for half a year!
http://slidingdownrainbows.blogspot.com/2007/03/ever-since-i-was-little-girl-ive-had.html
(Why can’t my birthday last for half a year??!)
I get really annoyed by people who think they can bugger off and stop blogging. Cheek!
I am angry when person shit in my shoe!
Patsy Fuckwit.
That is all.
Oh, except I’m really glad I’m not Torsten…
if your comment doesn’t appear it might have been eaten as spam
Does this mean I’m still having to be rescued by hand?
And did your shirt turn up?
BRING BACK FAT JIM
http://ramblingsofanofficeworker.blogspot.com
I update occasionally, and yes indeed bring back Fat Jim you Irish slacker
maybe we could do a poll on who is actually working this afternoon, or like me, are you sitting at your desk pretending?
A)Working
B)Pretending
C)Visibly not working
Dr_Clip – C.
I am in desperate need of Frontpage in order to complete my new blog project – I still update though – if any fucker’s interested. Muwahahaha. Shameless advertising.
And all that.
B.
B
Only two of us in our satelite office and my colleague is A
Ok, here is a link back to my angry rant on my blog yesterday about how I hate telemarketers:
http://sewmouse.blogspot.com/2007/05/dont-call-me.html
Definitely B. I’ve updated my blog, I’ve checked my online banking, I’ve tidied up piles of papers… I even nipped out to Halfords to get some car mats! Oh that would be a C then.
Just waiting for 4pm and time to go home!
I was wondering, does Fat Jim really exist? As in, is he a real person? Or just some part of your own personality you call upon to fill in the gaps and be the “laugh-at” guy? Just asking….
Curious – Yes he exists. But that might be more of a ‘nickname’ and not be his real name…
YAY!!
Bloody A.
Damn duty surgery full of feverish tinies and idiots who forgot it was a Bank Holiday and are running out of “the pills”. And yet strangely have no clue which pills that would be when quizzed.
The real Dr Angry.
i don’t have anything to say. just ask my boyfriend.
safe journey. hope you find the pub. and have another excellent adventure.
I hate the fact as being English I am deemed a second class citizen in my own fucking country, take the new bin proposals by Davis Militwat……
These proposals, of course, don’t apply to Scotland, Wales or Northern Ireland. As far as I know they don’t do things any differently to England when it comes to recycling but only the English are being singled out for punishment.
If our neighbours continue to underperform on recycling and bring down the UK average below the minimum required to escape the EU fines who will pay the fines? The Scottish or Welsh taxpayer? Of course not – only one nation pays more money into the UK Treasury than it spends – the English taxpayer will pay to have their bins emptied, extra depending on how much rubbish they throw away and then they’ll pay the EU fines for not hitting targets.
This all makes me really fucking angry
I’m really angry with the continued obsession of Star Wars. It was 30 years ago. So what. Get over it.
http://feedthepony.blogspot.com/2007/05/f-star-wars.html
I am a freelance computer repairer for home users. The other day I was with a customer and I needed to make sure her Lexmark printer worked. I clicked “Print test page” and it interrupted our conversation with an annoying American voice saying “Printing started!” A few moments later it interrupted our conversation again with “Printing complete!”
What I’d like to know is, who at Lexmark thought it would be a good idea to turn on voice announcements by default? It’s so *rude*. Why should a mere printer butt into a human conversation?
Sure, if you live alone it might be quite nice to have the voice announcement. It’d be better if there were a choice of voices so it doesn’t have to be American. Listen, Lexmark: no way should you ship the software with that feature on.
I’d love to go to a Lexmark board meeting and shout, “Your printers are annoying!” at random intervals during their discussion. Let’s see how they’d like it.
So one in three Post Offices are due to be closed. I find this very disappointing, as it means that at least two out of three will remain open. Bah.
The Post Office is an appalling place. Dated, stuffy rubbish. The last Post Office I was in seemed to have more notices about what they didn’t do (We do not do Car Tax. We do not do TV licences) than saying what they did do. All I wanted was a plain white DL envelope. Did they have one? I’ll let you guess.
Shut them all. Then someone else will come up with a better way to do it.
Phil’s on a roll lolol!
I’m angry that I’m not usually angry and that might mean I’m holding on to my anger and it’s killing me slowly and painfully!
Wonder what Mr Angry will break/lose/snog this time *ducks*
I’ve been paying my TV licence by direct debit for a few years now. They keep sending me threatening letters that they have no record of a licence at my address, yet there it is every quarter on my bank statements. I wrote to tell them they should check their records and gave them the dates of the direct debits they took. Still they harrass me in mail with aggressive overtones. I’m thinking of suing.
This annoyed me.
Here’s my rant…
http://www.billygean.co.uk/2007/03/rant.html
More of a shake your head ruefully than a rant.
http://pictureofaduck.blogspot.com/2007/05/things-you-encounter-when-you-havent.html
I am angry at -
1) Oldham Athletic not getting promoted (’cause they played crap)
2) See post that’s about to go up.
While on the M1 motorway, I stopped at a service station. At the exit of the toilet, there was a touch sign with three yellow faces, saying:
Good 
Average 
Unsatisfactory
I was tempted to press the “Unsatisfactory” button to register my disapproval but then thought better of it. After all, people who pressed the “Unsatisfactory” button must have had shitty fingers because the toilet was dirty. Ergh. Then I would’ve had to go back and wash the shit off my fingers, in a toilet that other people already said was full of shit.
They didn’t think of that, did they, the survey designers? I should put a box of handy disposable gloves on the wall, like in hospitals. “If unsatisfactory, please wear these gloves before pressing this button”.
Just watched an African tribe documentary programme on TV. It was the one with adventurer Bruce Parry leaping naked over a row of cattle amid a large crowd of dancing tribesmen.
Parry asked a young woman tribe member if people were leaving the culture, or some words to that effect. I can’t remember exactly what it was but it wasn’t very many words. The translator then spoke to the woman and the words were something like, “wooma woba womaba wooa bawba wowa wobba bawa wooba bowa waba wawa boba bowa boba baba wooba womaba waba wawa wooma woba womaba wooa bawba wowa wobba bawa wooba bowa waba wawa womaba wooa bawba?” Pardon my approximation but I mean the translator’s interpretation went on for *ages*.
Now I have a lot of respect for these African dudes, but do they not have a succinct word for “culture” in their language? Was the translation for “culture”, “what we customarily do and have been doing for a long time which has been handed down by the previous generations”?
Mind you, their cattle-vaulting parties looked a lot more fun than what passes for entertainment in this country. Namely, sitting on our arses watching repeats.
Warning: The following post is Not Safe For Work.
Cavemen were the oldest swingers, reports The Times newspaper. That got me thinking. I happen to know for a fact, on popular shagging website Swinging Heaven, within 5 miles of my postcode there are no fewer than 148 “couples seeking couples” up for bjonking action of some sort. Which makes me wonder. Is this behaviour a throwback to caveman days?
I bet at that time STDs had not been invented. Given that, here is my theory as to why men find it exciting watching their wife getting knobbed by another man. As a caveman, once you got yourself a woman you would make sure she got pregnant by you. After that, if there was some favour you wanted from a celebrity caveman, or your best pal, you could give him your wife for a few minutes/hours/nights. Then you only have to weigh up the odds of her bearing a child that isn’t yours, versus the chance of getting the goods.
I’m sure life in caveman days must have been nasty, brutish and short. But there must have been some compensations… Like the rudest cum-filled cave-chick parties – every damned night. Before STDs came along and ruined it. Just a shame I’m about 10 million years too late.
Further to the above, I will illustrate with an example nicked from Swinging Heaven, “East Riding couple looking for fun” (Photo Advert #513135). Here it is, slightly edited for brevity:
——————————-
We are a mature couple. We both love spunk, we are into all forms of sex including Group Sex, Orgies, Outdoor Sex, 3somes, 4somes and more. If you think you can handle what we are offering then get in touch and discover what sex with others is all about!
———————————
I don’t know what all this stuff is but I suggest they are merely strengthening their bonds with their friends in the way that was usual before boring sex diseases and Corrie. Having loads of kids about anyway, the social advantages outweighed the odd “paternity issue” amongst the sprogs.
If I am right please correct all the children’s text books about Early Man, illustrated with demure looking cave women doing their sewing, by sticking in some orgy porn.
Being charged £7.50 to watch my little ones in a school production.
Seven pounds bloomin fifty!! next thing they will want a booking fee,
and I can’t stand musicals.
I’ve spent the last hour pouring over my atlas looking for Earnest. Fucked if I can find it! It has to be there somewhere! Whenever there’s a war the fighting starts in Earnest! When someone goes missing everyone starts searching in Earnest! It’s pissing me off big time! Does anyone know where the hell Earnest is!
Getting to Canada after a 12-hour flight from Glasgow via Manchester then back over Glasgow (WTF?); switching on your moby and getting a txt msg from O2 telling you that you can’t make outgoing calls, only txt msgs; sending a txt home asking your family to call you because you’ve only got 5 quid left on your phone and it’s 50p per txt; receiving said call and chatting for all of 2 minutes before your moby cuts off because – get this – your phone has run out of credit. On an incoming call? Thieving cunts.
Just noticed a small ad in the back of Private Eye magazine. It said,
“In Search of Santa, on a December holiday to Lapland. Book your 1-5 day tour today!”
In May. Doesn’t that make you lose the will to live? If we’re not safe from that lunacy in May, when are we?
An passenger plane had to turn back because a swarm of bees was sucked into one of the engines during take-off. The engine later developed problems in-flight.
At least the bees got a warm welcome on entering the aircraft. And their encounter with the airline company was mercifully brief. Which is more than can be said for the passengers.
LOL Chopsky.
Chopski – there is a similar thing with gunpoint. Why do people keep going there?
Always get held up.
(my thanks to Friends series2)
Chopsky: Well there’s a Milton Ernest in Bedfordshire, however, it’s missing an “a”. Interstingly it’s a stones throw away from the old Twinwood Airfield where Glenn Miller was last seen. Maybe they went searching in Milton Ernest?
Phil: Standard procedure, you always turn back if your engines start making a buzzing sound.
Irritated massively by my flatmates today. Stand off over bins.
dysnomialives.blogspot.com
Phil: Was the airline Flybe?
Equine Pimp: Will be staying away from Gunpoint also camping as that is obviously very violent! Ever notice how the fighting is always ‘in tents’ i.e. in tents fighting started again last night!
Brom: Glen Miller played his trumpet in Earnest, allegedly!
Update on Irish trip, I believe that Mr A has managed to lose or get his wallet stolen. This has probably given him enough ammunition for a few more rants.
The question this raises is slightly matrix like. Would these annoying things keep happening to him if he wasn’t undertaking this blog? Answers please…
Well the biggest irritation on my horizon is Big Brother. I’m now looking forward to a summer filled with :-
Crap TV featuring contestants, interviews, talking heads and incessant references to BB
Newspapers and Magazines filled with the same
A girlfriend who won’t stop talking about BB and insists on trying to get me to watch it despite my urge to throw the TV out of the window when its on.
Its enough to make me want to move somewhere with no TV coverage.
GH.
The “Coming Soon” sign outside building sites where they’re putting up houses. How refreshing it would be to see one that says,
Characterless Housebuilders Ltd
Not coming soon
5 luxury 2 bed apartments
2 executive 5 bed homes
Local residents successfully got our application rejected. No, we don’t require any more land, thanks very much.
I’m not looking forward to the bad news about “Little Maddy”. The news that she has been found safe.
It will be good news for the parents, but I don’t know them. The self-congratulation and smugness of the media will be so intolerable I shall be forced to leave immediately for Tibet, where I will have to live as a yak.
I’m busy organising a Yak-Class ticket out to Tibet at the moment to avoid BB, I can try and get more of ‘em if people are interested?
GH.
Angry – lost/stolen wallet? Please tell me that you accused some random Spanish girl and held her until the police arrived only to find it was in your bag all the time.
I have been led to believe that is the correct procedure in such situations.
I am back!!
Hello Phil (you are rather prolific aren’t you?), Chopski, rach and other new people.
Unfortunately the rumours are true. I had my wallet stolen over the weekend. This particular tale of misery and woe will begin tomorrow morning…
The explosion of the phrase meh, in internet forums, reviews as an expression of disinterest/boredom/apathy. I despise the lack of creativity it shows.