“Hello yes, I’d like a Sweet and sour chicken, Hong Kong style, and…” I said to the man who stood in front of me in my local Chinese take-away as he noted my order.
Ring Ring!
“Just one moment”, he said answering the phone, “Yes please….uh huh…. uh huh…… uh huh…… uh huh….. OK, anything else?……uh huh……and your name?…… uh huh…… that’ll be ten minutes, see you then”
He handed the telephone order to the kitchen, then he returned his attention to me.
“Yes Sir?”
“With egg fried rice and some prawn crackers”
“OK. We are quite busy, so it will be about fifteen minutes.”
This did not add up.
“Hang on, you just told the man on the phone it would be ten minutes?”
“It was a big order, it may be a few more minutes for yours.”
“But I was actually here, right in front of you, halfway through my order!”
“I am sorry, but we always answer the phone.”
Clearly, as I am already here and waiting, he will get my order regardless, whereas an unanswered call could result in lost business for the restaurant. I understand the commercial reasons for his behaviour, but I do not want to wait the extra five minutes.
“I am not happy, I want my order in ten minutes, as it would have been had you not answered the phone.”
“Err, Certainly Sir.”
I sat back to read What Car magazine from November 2004 and awaited my food. Various people came and went for phoned-in orders, and eventually my food appeared. After fourteen minutes.
Now, normally I would behave in a slightly different manner than this passive acceptance of poor customer service, but you cannot be too careful when people are preparing your food. Especially when in the best case scenario it probably already contains some dog.
From now on, in the same situation I will say to anyone looking to answer the phone, “I have made the effort to come here in person, if you answer that phone I am walking out!”.
Unless I am really hungry of course, or in dire need of Kung Po Chilli Chicken, or can’t be arsed to cook. Being an altruistic consumer warrior can only sustain you for so long.
{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }
The answer is obvious, Angry dear. Go to the restaurant then phone your order in as you stand in front of him.
Full attention and fast service, just like the good old days.
Fussy Bitch – You clearly get up a lot earlier than I do, but that was going to be my solution too. He will have to interrupt the first caller and say “Sorry, call waiting”.
Always make sure you get a female server, be charming and they will always give excellent customer service.
mihister wah spechill servi hextra dollar
Fussy Bitch – Or just pull the phone from the wall when I walk in?
Salvadore – They do not have call waiting!! Boo!! I know this because of the number of times I have got the engaged tone, which is disappointing.
Oli – And at the take away? Ha ha! I am funny.
Dr Clip – Fai dolla?
Fai dolla – mihister be wery happy
Oli
What are you thinking !
Mr A and charming in the same sentance, really !
Or even better, on those days when you get there and there’s a long queue, stand outside and phone in your order. That’s what I do, but then I’m a bastid like that
GH.
I have similar issues with people who answer their phone while playing golf and then launch into a full conversation, invariably causing a delay as they cannot then play their next shot.
If it is an emergency then walk off the course or forfeit the hole. Any other calls should either be a) not answered or b) answered with the words “I am in the middle of a game of golf, I’ll call you back”. No one is THAT important that they can’t go AWOL for 4 hours. (certainly no one that I play golf with anyway)
I have bothered to be at the course to play with people who offend in this way and such interruptions are a pain in the arse and, to put it quite bluntly, fucking rude. This behaviour would not take place in any other outdoor sport.
Angry – I get the distinct impression I know what is going to happen next time we play golf.
Equine pimp – what a screenname. Would I be reading too much into it to infer some kind of horse/whores pun?
From now on, in the same situation I will say to anyone looking to answer the phone, “I have made the effort to come here in person, if you answer that phone I am walking out!”.
Enjoy your sweet and sour horse then.
Totally agree with you Mr Angry! You were there first, in person – how dare anyone jump the queue from the comfort of their arm chair? I think that the presence of a person who is talking to you should NEVER be over-ridden by a phone no matter what the circs are.
I love the idea of phoning from inside the shop and disconnecting the phone whilst they do your order!
You should’ve blocked the doorway and not let anyone else in til you got yours within good time! (pmsl @ you knowing it took 14 mins exactly!)
dowelld – I can be charming. Ask any of the ladies on here! (except, you know, the mentalist ones)
GH – I like that idea…
EP – It might be a while, and will depend how long it takes to source a Trigger Happy giant mobile phone…
Will – Very good, you are on the right lines.
Betty – Horse can be considered a delicacy in some parts…
Sooz – Well, you know what to do next time it happens to you…
Oddly enough, whenever I phone up for a curry (from the Indian take away, not the Chinese, that would be madness), I am invariably asked to hold whilst – and this is the real pisser – I can hear what is clearly another order being taking on their other line – no doubt keeping waiting whomever also happens to be queueing on the premises.
Oh, the irony. Now I need to lie down after writing the word queueing. Twice.
I don’t have takeout food anymore, not since I found a whole fingernail in my Spicy Szechuan. Just thinking about it makes me wanna hurl!!
Mrs F. – It beats finding the rest of the finger