A cab ride

March 1, 2007

We had been playing football, and were running a little late, so my flatmate and I decided to get a cab to the bar where we were meeting friends, saving us a 20 minute walk across town.

The taxi arrived promptly, and drove us swiftly to our destination.

“How much is that mate?” I asked, feeling for my wallet.

“Err, whatever you normally pay” said the taxi driver

“I normally pay the going rate” I continued, now aware he was trying to scam me.

“Just give me what you normally pay.”

This was an opportunity not to be missed.

“I normally pay a pound.”

“It is more than that” he said laughing.

“How do you know? You asked how much it was normally, implying that you do not know how much it is. If in fact, you know it is more than one pound, that suggests you actually know how much the fare is.”

I had already decided to give him five pounds (the normal rate inclusive of a one pound tip), but wasn’t going to make it easy for him. Oh no.

“Would you have been so happy to correct me if I had estimated too high? If I had said “I’m not sure, maybe a tenner?” would you have laughed and said, “Oh it’s less than that Sir”?, I doubt it.”

I gave him four pounds with a demand for honesty with all his future customers. If a cab driver ever asks you how much you normally pay, then I ask you all to massively underestimate the amount. It is the only way they will learn.

{ 20 comments… read them below or add one }

Mr Angry March 1, 2007 at 10:06 am

Testing testing, 1, 2, 3….

I have fixed the Internet!!!

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S Hamilton March 1, 2007 at 10:25 am

Taxi drivers are slowly moving up the Scandal And A Disgrace Big List of People Who Will Be First Up Against The Wall Come The Revolution.

“Oh, I didn’t realise there were road works here, despite the fact you specifically told me not to go this way because there were road works here”.

“Honest, mate, this is a short cut”.

“I have to charge you extra because it’s after 10pm / before 10pm / in the morning / in the afternoon / the Swahili National Holiday

Gits.

Oh, and congratulations on fixing the internet. Thank goodness, there won’t be any little baby internets running around. It was bad enough when they tried to produce Web 2.0.

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steve_p March 1, 2007 at 10:42 am

Glad you sorted it out, didn’t want you thinking your popularity was dwindling away…

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franglaise March 1, 2007 at 10:59 am

Good for you!

As a woman alone (not that that has anything to do with it) I’m not sure I’d have had the confidence to do that..

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Dr_Clip March 1, 2007 at 12:15 pm

And when they dont know the way somewhere, jeez.

Once I was involved in a car accident whilst in a cab, he still expected me to pay at our final destination!

We had quite an argument. Yes I’d love to give you some money for nearly killing me. Stupid fucking twat.

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marycub March 1, 2007 at 12:19 pm

hurray u sorted the comments… but now i’ve forgotten what i was going to say :-/

anyway usually i find that a fair few cabbies like to take you home the long scenic route. Maybe because i’m female they think i won’t say anything. But of course i always do and usually ends up me getting out of the cab and not paying.

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Thomas March 1, 2007 at 2:43 pm

Surely the correct answer to “what do you usually pay” is “nothing – I usually walk.”

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Mr Angry March 1, 2007 at 3:06 pm

S Hamilton – I am beginning to realise just how corrupt they really are…

Steve_p – It is OK, it is quite clear just how wildly unpopular I am.

franglaise – Hello. Just do a runner then?

Dr Clip – Ask him for his insurance details, that usually focusses they’re minds…

marcub – adda girl.

Thomas – Yes! That should have been the correct answer…

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Thomas March 1, 2007 at 4:10 pm

Err, why does my last comment have a “The real Mr Angry” added? I didn’t put that there! I am seldom anything other than Grumpy but hardly ever angry. That would take far too much energy!

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steve_p March 1, 2007 at 4:15 pm

The real Mr Angry bit
confuses me too, don’t take much!!

The real Mr Angry

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Mr Angry March 1, 2007 at 4:30 pm

OK – I admit it is not very clear, but it is ABOVE my comments, not below yours. I am trying to find a better way of doing it at the moment, to stop people coming on here ‘pretending’ to be me.

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Ldbug March 1, 2007 at 5:01 pm

Don’t they have meters in cabs there?

You should’ve paid him 1 pound for being slick..

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sooz March 1, 2007 at 6:20 pm

Yayy @ offering him a quid! You could have saved 5 and jogged to the pub though…

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day in bed March 1, 2007 at 7:07 pm

I was in a black cab in London a few years ago. Now I don’t know London at all, I just had an address. He got in a right nark when I couldn’t give him directions. Isn’t that their job? Lazy gits want to do as little work as possible. You know what – they’re not alone.

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Badger March 1, 2007 at 8:22 pm

I would have punched him in the face.

Sooz – Would you want a nice, refreshing pint spoiled by the aroma of man-stink?
B.

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maggie March 1, 2007 at 9:03 pm

oh, that happens back there too?

cab drivers do it all the time here. they also flag down the meter and tell their customers if they could add something on top of it.

i am used to adding the tip and i always make it a point to but only if they do not ask for it first! it just irritates me!

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greavsie March 1, 2007 at 9:21 pm

Was this ‘jumpers as goalposts’ football or ‘refereed thuggery’?

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Farty March 1, 2007 at 10:46 pm

We phone the local taxi company to order a cab, and always ask for a fixed price in advance. It really pisses off the drivers. Thieving gits.

The Real Mr Farty

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Badger March 1, 2007 at 11:45 pm

Real Mr Farty – I just order cabs for the scabby bastards over the road. This is from 6 different firms, I must add. Watching the confusion as anywhere between 5-10 cabs pull up to the house is a great way to waste a Sunday afternoon.

B.

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sooz March 2, 2007 at 1:11 am

Ohhh man-dew is rather fetching if it’s not days old so I’ve heard…

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