January 2007

iCould do that

January 18, 2007

Steve Jobs is a smug cunt isn’t he? Every eighteen months or so, Apple launch a new product that will ‘revolutionise’ the face of whatever it is that this new thing does. The iPhone is obviously the latest attempt, and the one that everyone is talking about, but they have been doing it for years. [...]

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Excuse you?

January 17, 2007

I have resolved (not in a new years way, that is for those of you with low motivation), to stop saying ‘excuse me’ to people I do not hear or understand. I have realised that pretty much without fail, any lack of comprehension on my part is due entirely to the communicator. It is them, [...]

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Meme? Meh..

January 16, 2007

I don’t like questionnaires. They are usually accompanied by a clipboard and someone with less interest in your answers than you have in giving them. Then I got tagged with a ‘meme’ by Clarissa, and I thought, you know what, I’ll have a look at what these ‘meme’ things are. So I did. And you [...]

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Quiet reflection

January 15, 2007

Being signed off sick from work is an unusual experience for me. In my working life I’ve probably had a total of about three weeks off ‘sick’, and that time has been made up primarily from a broken wrist, torn ankle ligaments, dislocated shoulder and a torn hip flexor. All of them injuries caused by [...]

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The laziest caller so far…

January 12, 2007

My land-line telephone rings. It is 8pm on a Tuesday evening, so this means one of two things. a) I am being called by someone wanting to sell me something, or b) someone has died. I answer the phone to silence at the other end. Then it speaks. “This is an automated message from Satcover [...]

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Using technology

January 11, 2007

The blue screen stares back at me, blankly. Blue screens and technology do not mix. Especially when you are relocating your old not-particularly-big LCD TV to your bedroom to make way for your new frankly-massive LCD TV. I have invested in a wireless transmitter to allow me to watch TV in my bedroom, even though [...]

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A new test

January 10, 2007

when I become Prime Minister (and it is a ‘when’) I am going to introduce a new written test for all drivers before they can use the motorway. It will be a simple multiple choice quiz and will be designed to trick stupid drivers into identifying themselves. People that fail will be killed to death [...]

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Right or wrong?

January 9, 2007

In between the Turkey sandwiches and New Year champagne, a man was hanged in Iraq. Well, actually a few of them were hanged (hung?), but we can not be outraged by most of them because we don’t know who they were. They do not count. The main one though, was Saddam Hussein. I have read [...]

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See no evil, hear no….

January 8, 2007

In between Christmas and New Year I visited a couple of female friends, Blondie #1 and Blondie #2, at their flat. Whilst we sat and discussed how rubbish our presents had been this year it was difficult not to notice the sound of the television from the flat below. “Is their TV always that loud?” [...]

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The gutter press

January 7, 2007

How many of you read the Sunday Times? I do, from time to time, and I have never thought, “Fuck me, this is a tawdry tabloid rag, what the fuck am I doing reading it?” This is because I did not imagine they employed the same working practises as the tabloids industry. Oh how wrong [...]

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