Using technology

January 11, 2007

The blue screen stares back at me, blankly.

Blue screens and technology do not mix. Especially when you are relocating your old not-particularly-big LCD TV to your bedroom to make way for your new frankly-massive LCD TV.

I have invested in a wireless transmitter to allow me to watch TV in my bedroom, even though the main digital receiver is downstairs. Weekends may come where I literally never leave my bed.

But it didn’t work. Scart leads were plugged in. Receivers and transmitters were powered up. Magical TV waves made their way mysteriously about my flat. Yet still my old TV showed nothing more than the blue screen of death.

So I went downstairs and swapped a few scart leads.

I went back upstairs to check for improvements in the signal. Still a blue screen.

I went downstairs and swapped a few more scart leads. This time Sky stopped working downstairs.

I went back upstairs to check for improvements in the signal. Still a blue screen.

I went downstairs and swapped a few scart leads around again.

I went back upstairs to check for improvements in the signal. Still a blue screen.

I went back downstairs and calculated that there were approximately four billion different potential Scart configurations, and then I proceeded to work my way through them. One by one. Upstairs to check, downstairs to reconfigure, upstairs to check, downstairs to reconfigure. This went on for about three days and ten thousand calories, until finally, I gave up.

I was unplugging the transmitter from the Sky box when I noticed that underneath, it had the word ‘Receiver’ written upon it. Now, this is a misleading word to write underneath a transmitter. It could lead to numerous wasted hours and potentially fatal levels of frustration. Stupid wireless transmitter makers.

I then went upstairs again, this time to pack the receiver, when I noticed that it had the word ‘Transmitter’ written on it underneath. This just compounded their initial mistake, and illustrates quite clearly, that in the world of wireless TV transmission and reception, the makers of these units do not know their recepticals from their transepticals.

It is lucky that I am so good with technology, and that I was able to venture off-piste with this equipment, and in a blinding flash of inspiration I swapped over the two units.

The TV worked first time.

I wonder how many other people out there are suffering due to the mislabelling of the identical transmitter and receiver units?

{ 22 comments… read them below or add one }

marycub January 11, 2007 at 8:41 am

i’m sure they do it on purpose.

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Fussy Bitch January 11, 2007 at 8:54 am

Look on the bright side, with all that up and down the stairs you’ll have buns of steel to sit on and watch tv.

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AFC 30K January 11, 2007 at 9:05 am

My nemesis is mains lights – So many wires and a negative that’s live and positives that don’t seem to be connected to anything.

Last weekend I had yoiled for hours to build a light in the shape of a plane (for the baby’s room)who’s instructions were confusing enough. I then took the old fitmet of the ceiling and spent another age labeling everything and re-wriring it to the new light. I turn the fuse back on and it’s didn’t trip, which is always a good sign only to find the light didn’t work.

I took the fitting down and rewired it but to no avail, to cut a long story short I let my wife put the bulb in….. only she hadn’t! Ahhhhhhhh

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Mr Angry January 11, 2007 at 10:49 am

marycub – of course they do, just to torment me.

Fussy Bitch – my buns are in no further need of sculpting. They are already like steel (not David).

AFC 30k – Oh dear, I feel you pain.

I have been to doctors and I have “an upper respiratory infection with inflamed tonsils and an elevated temperature of 38.6 which has led to mild tachycardia.”

That last bit worried me until the nice doctor explained to me that the fever was making my heart beat faster and I was not going to die (not soon, anyway).

I am now on antibiotics and should be back in the land of the living, properly, in 48 hours.

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Equine Pimp January 11, 2007 at 11:18 am

Is that the technical description of man flu?

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Betty January 11, 2007 at 11:40 am

“Weekends may come where I literally never leave my bed.”

I know what you mean. ;-)

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TJ January 11, 2007 at 11:54 am

I have never heard a mild throat infection described so eloquently!

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greavsie January 11, 2007 at 12:18 pm

All this for the shopping channel?

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Mr Angry January 11, 2007 at 1:28 pm

EP – This is not man-flu. You can’t treat man-flu, you just have to get through it manfully…

Betty – You’re into DVD boxsets too then?

TJ – There is nothing mild about it! I have just coughed up something that looked like a serving spoonful of mushy peas but with the consistency of putty. Lush eh?

greavsie – Don’t knock it, there’s many a bargain to be had!

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BoyOnTop January 11, 2007 at 1:30 pm

Should have just taken it back and said it doesn’t work, thus giving up on the entire project. Would have saved those wasted days in bed…

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Léonie January 11, 2007 at 2:11 pm

“I have just coughed up something that looked like a serving spoonful of mushy peas but with the consistency of putty.”

You get me so hot.

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AFC 30K January 11, 2007 at 3:39 pm

I’ve just re-read my comment and the grammer and typos ar appaling, sorry everyone

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Mr Angry January 11, 2007 at 5:02 pm

BoT – another five minutes and that was what would have happened…

Léonie – Even when ill I have this effect. I should come with a health warning myself.

AFC – Do not worry, this is a grammar (not grammer) police free zone

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La Cubana Gringa January 11, 2007 at 5:15 pm

Sure. Inflamed tonsils. Fever. Mild tacchycardia. Mushy peas. Sounds a bit like you’re just “a bit under the weather” to get a couple of days off to watch your frankly-massive LCD TV.

Though, be that as it may, I’m with Léonie. Downright sexy. (Even if it is a charade.)

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snowcrush January 11, 2007 at 6:08 pm

Oh how dare they confuse you by printing the words underneath, so unfair to your brilliance.

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Anna January 11, 2007 at 6:39 pm

The mislabelling of those two identical units is shocking. It’s very very remiss of them. I’m so looking forward to your account of when you call them to complain ;)

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Heather January 11, 2007 at 8:46 pm

what an utter waste of time, just think of all the “Celebrity” Big Brother you missed.

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marycub January 11, 2007 at 8:50 pm

they switched them just for you and noone else! Bet u feel special.

“Hey this is angry’s transmitter and reciever, wouldn’t it be funny to switch them round – he’ll never know mu ha ha ha”

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Phoenix January 11, 2007 at 11:08 pm

Mr Angry

Maybe that’s why you’ve never liked 69. It’s because you’ve been doing 96

Phoenix
x

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The Girl January 13, 2007 at 2:22 pm

I think Phoenix wins comment of the week.

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Mark January 19, 2007 at 10:10 am

Hi angry,
Which tv transmitter were you using? I am just about to get sky and want to be able to watch it in my bedroom aswell. Does it come with a remote so that I can change the channel as well. Or will I actually have to get out of bed.

I realise that the box can only be on one channel for the whole house, but I really don’t mind if my wife is in the middle of Extreme makeover in the sitting room, when I turn over to watch… well frankly anything else!

I am far too tight to pay sky for a second box.

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Dave Nash January 28, 2007 at 2:43 pm

Old LCD TV? Excuse me? Now please correct me if I’m wrong, but I thought that LCD television technology was relatively new. Perhaps I’ve been ‘out of the loop’ for the past twenty years, but to be honest being out of the loop in today’s omnipresent media driven world would require me to be living in a cave on Mars with my eyes closed and my fingers in my ears.

I have a 16 year old JVC CRT TV which certinaly could be described as ‘old’, but to say you have an old LCD TV just goes to show how much money you have. For shame…

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