I receive a Christmas Card.
“Dear Mr Angry,
Best wishes to you and your colleagues for this festive season!
From,
City Conference Centre”
This is a bit like those people who leave comments on other blogs going “Hurrah!! I am first!! Yay for me!!” (OK, no-one does that one here, thankfully, but that is because you are all intelligent and discernible blog readers, obviously).
Best of all, it was sent via 2nd class post, so they are both thoughtful and full of the season of goodwill to all men, but not to the extent of spending 32p on all those men. It also implies that in order to reach my in-tray today, I would conservatively estimate that it was posted in mid-September. Unless of course it is actually 11 months late. Which is a distinct possibility I suppose.
In fact, it is a damning indictment on their behaviour that that this card makes more sense when I assume that it has been delayed for nearly a year, rather than arriving as intended.
I am not ungrateful however. Oh no. I am sending them a reply today.
“Dear City Conferences!
Merry Easter and all that to you and your colleagues!
May all your eggs and crucifixes be of the chocolatey variety.
Mr Angry”
I expect a Happy Summer Solstice card by return.
{ 20 comments… read them below or add one }
I fucking hate christmas cards. When colleagues give them to me I cut them up and remind them that this sort of nonsense is screwing up the environment BIG TIME.
They’re just shit aren’t they?
Especially corporate shite like that.
Jesus I am narked now.
Want a soothing christmas card?
Something far worse than christmas cards… christmas bloody music!
Seriously, if the tart who lives next to my Mrs plays it any louder, she’ll be getting her eyes gouged out with the jagged edge of one of those cds after i’ve jumped on them… assuming the Mrs doesn’t get there first of course.
Not wanting to depress anyone but I also think its time to realise that sooner or later, hopefully much much later, James Blunt will probably be enough of a loser to put out a christmas album.
the christmas duet with Westwood isn’t that likely thank christ… literally.
http://www.bluemountain.com/view.pd?i=153109849&m=6786&source=bma992
Thought I’d get it to you 3 months early
Yay!!! Fantastic Fifth!!!!!!!
Awesome post, Dude! I think I’ll wee on it.
Even as a caring and sentimental female, I agree with you. Corporate christmas cards are stupid and pointless and there is also no sense in sending cards to friends and colleagues you see all the time. Especially not early.
The only point of Christmas cards is to keep a point of contact with people you hardly ever see, but really do like, and to old people who count them and display them and are really happy to be remembered.
I said I was sentimental.
Our place isn’t doing Christmas Cards this year, instead we are sending a goat to africa via Oxfam.
Hx
Ah yes, corporate Christmas cards. I particularly enjoy the ones from people I’ve never met or worked with who considerately call after its sent to see if I might be interested in buying something. I always have a jolly laugh with those chappies.
Helibags, would’nt it be cheaper to send a goat direct to Africa?
There is a guy here at work with tinsel and a tree already on his desk. He does work in HR though so maybe we can let him off for being mentally retarded?
Corporate Christmas diaries, calendars etc make me want to vomit.
Mulled wine anyone?
Corporate Christmas cards. Don’t they just scream traditional Christmas sentiment?
“The Staff and Directors of Beelzebub and Panzer IT Consultancy wish you all an adequate end of year holiday period.”
Will you be splurging for a 32p stamp for those lovely easter greetings?
I hate writing the damn things. And I often write them and forget to give them.
Corporate cards are shit
Our version of Corporate Cards are Private Consulant Cards. I fully expect a deluge of “Seasons Greetings” cards from Mr I M A Hindu and Dr Y Islam. They are not quite crass enough to say “and send us lots of private patients next year….”.
That said I find it quite touching that at least half of the genuine xmas cards I am sent by patients each year come from moslem households.
Why would anybody want to send a goat to Africa? Can I send a Somalian to Africa for Christmas? Let’s be mega generous and send a thousand. They’d appreciate that in Africa they would.
four dinners – youre so right!
Erm. It’s November.
Do you think they are sending them out earlier than is acceptable so that they will get more in return?! But why, as they are a corporation and who the hell cares?
But cards already, in November!
Bah!
Yay I’m first – uh, nevermind
I’m in your country! So hello from your country, Angry. Ok, I’m going now…PS been drinking for awhile now at my friend’s house Yay to drinking! ;->
Humbug!
Hello everybody, sorry for the lack of replied, I was very busy with Important Things.
And hello to Lady Miss Marquise and Farty. We are not used to having landed gentry on here we will try and mind our language (I’m not talking about you Farty)