June 2006

How to be a good Dad

June 16, 2006

I’m not a Dad. I may be one day, who knows, but I’m not right now. This doesn’t mean that I don’t know what would make a good Dad. Or more specifically, that I don’t know what makes a bad Dad. But I noticed at Tim Worstalls place, that the Government doesn’t seem to think [...]

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The Dawdler

June 15, 2006

I remember the Green Cross code Public Information Films vividly. I clearly recall Darth Vader in green tights telling me to “Look both ways and listen”. By ‘Darth Vader’, I of course mean David Prowse, not James Earl Jones. He would’ve looked rubbish in green tights. Probably still does in fact. He scared me enough [...]

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Superstars

June 14, 2006

Many of you* are wondering how I got on at this years Superstars event. Well, before I tell you all about it, I think I’d better just clarify the rules. Just so you know it wasn’t a fix. Firstly, there are ten events, and you must participate in all of them. First place in each [...]

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The Lobster

June 13, 2006

I don’t like getting sunburned. I don’t think many people do, but I really really hate it. I am also bitter when it happens because I think I’ve been robbed by genetics at its cruelest. My father is quite dark and could be mistaken for a southern European. Sit him in front of a 40-watt [...]

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Mussolini and the Cuckoo

June 12, 2006

There are a number of unwritten rules when you’re out with the boys. Some are pretty juvenile, like which hand you’re allowed to drink with, and “bags not’ing” when the discussions begin for who’s round it is. But some of them are serious matters, like the protocol for when one of the lads has begun [...]

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The magic of the Internet

June 9, 2006

As you read this I am on a golf course somewhere near Brighton. This is amazing, as I am able to tell this computer when to make my post appear, so even though I’m away from Thursday afternoon until Sunday, you still get to read some inane witterings from me! You lucky lucky people! You [...]

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Treat them like a small car

June 8, 2006

I was brought up to treat others as I would like them to treat me. This is why I have stopped screaming at people in the street in recent times. If you try, then it’s really not that difficult to behave as others would expect, particularly if they are extending you the courtesy of treating [...]

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Don't cleanse my Aura

June 7, 2006

Before I start, I think it’s worth pointing out that I fucking hate Hippies. Not the free-love and casual-sexing ones, they’re OK, and fun to meet at parties. I mean the Earth-Mother, chakra-cleansing brigade. If you’ve ever met one, you’ll know exactly the type I mean. We have one at work. She comes across as [...]

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Getting the beers in

June 6, 2006

Drinking in rounds has it’s advantages. You get to visit a busy bar fewer times than if you were to get your own drinks, and in many cases your next drink miraculously appears just as you finish your current one. Which is nice. There are some downsides however. Firstly, when you happen to be falling [...]

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Selfish bastard

June 5, 2006

I have a request. If you’re going to ‘top’ yourself, then please do what you can to ensure you complete the task at home, or someplace quiet in the middle of the night. Try jumping off your house, or take a bath with a toaster. Do not, under any circumstances, threaten to jump off a [...]

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