April 2006

Hello?

April 13, 2006

I can understand this being the first thing you say when you answer your phone at home. I can even understand it if it’s the first thing you say when you answer your phone at work. What I abso-fucking-lutely cannot excuse is you saying it when answering your mobile. It has a graphical display right [...]

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"I Love you"

April 12, 2006

Three little words that can mean so much, to so many. Not words I use very often to be honest, at least not until the local off-licence started a delivery service. However, it’s unfortunately becoming popular to say these words when you’re talking to someone you barely know. This is due to one man, and [...]

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Friends Reunited

April 11, 2006

Or friends-that-you-spited, as perhaps it would be better known. How many of you have used this website? Most of you have had a look I’d imagine. I know I have. But how many of you have paid to subscribe? I certainly haven’t. I do however have an entry from 5 years ago, not under Mr [...]

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A lunchtime dash

April 10, 2006

I missed the sandwich van on its daily trip to our offices. This is not good. If I am to avoid starvation this means a quick trip into town, so that’s what I did. My plan was to park in the multistory car park, pop to the sandwich shop, and get back to the office [...]

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Pensions Shmensions

April 7, 2006

I have been reading a lot recently about the Pensions crisis that we are facing in the UK. The oldies here in the office are whingeing about it because they feel they might have to spend a few more years pushing staplers round their desks and contributing to the tea and biscuits kitty. A lot [...]

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Hosepipe ban

April 6, 2006

There’s been plenty of coverage of this in the last few weeks. Apparently we had the driest winter on record since Georgie Best was waiting for his last liver. This has meant old people everywhere won’t be able to spend their summer days watering the Chrysanthemums. With nothing to do all day I just hope [...]

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How easy is it to check the weather?

April 5, 2006

Last Thursday I was looking at the forecast for the fast approaching weekend, trying to decide whether I wanted to play golf or not on Sunday morning. Though obviously a rugged outdoorsey type of blogger, I don’t like getting cold and wet. So I browsed the BBC weather site and looked at the BBC five [...]

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"I could miss my train"

April 4, 2006

Commuting is the bane of many peoples lives. Personally, I don’t mind it. This is mainly as I only have to do it once or twice a week at most. The rest of the time I’m no more than a 15 minute drive from the office. Today I headed into London so I had to [...]

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Toilet Terrorists

April 3, 2006

There was a time when I could go out with friends to enjoy a few beers, then have a few more beers, followed by several more beers and then spend an acceleratingly large amount of time in the toilets emptying my bladder. It was a simple procedure. You go in. You to your business. You [...]

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April fool

April 2, 2006

“Hi, I’m sorry to bother you, I live at number 18. It appears your car has been clamped”, said the young lady I’d never met. I look at my watch. It’s 10:25am on Saturday 1st April. April Fools Day. “Fuck off, did Fat Jim put you up to this?” I respond wondering how Fat Jim [...]

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